


Cheers Darlin'

by Bobbyboops



Category: Love Island (Video Game)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Depression, Drama & Romance, Emotional Healing, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Roller Coaster, F/M, Falling In Love, Feel-good, Fluff, Friendship/Love, Happy Ending, Heartbreak, New Beginnings, Romantic Comedy, Sad and Happy, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-08-09
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:01:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 30,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24586546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bobbyboops/pseuds/Bobbyboops
Summary: Bobby has been in love with MC since he first laid eyes on her, the only problem is she is getting married to someone else...
Relationships: Bobby McKenzie & Main Character (Love Island), Bobby Mckenzie & Other
Comments: 28
Kudos: 40





	1. Cheers darlin

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoy reading! Please listen to the song "Cheers Darlin' by Damien rice" it was the whole inspiration for this wee fic! This is all from Bobby's POV

"Bobby!! I have the most exciting news! You're gonna die!" 

I watched excitedly as MC lifted up her left hand to show an enormous rock placed on her ring finger. 

"Stephen proposed!" 

She was squealing with excitement. I did my best to show enthusiasm as the color began to drain from my face. She was getting married. They had only been dating 6 months! How could they already be getting married? 

My mind began to drift back to when we first met on Love island. The moment she walked out of the villa my breath hitched in my throat. She was wearing a black crochet swimsuit that left so little to the imagination. Her beautiful curves moved like a symphony as she walked. Every note was perfect. Every single thing about her was captivating. I knew she was out of my league, I knew she would never be mine, but that didn't stop me from wanting to be near her at every opportunity I was given. What was even more amazing, was that the more I got to know her, the more I realized her physical appearance was the least beautiful thing about her. She was kind, considerate, with a wicked sense of humor, and she just gave you the feeling of being wrapped in a warm blanket right out of the dryer just being around her.

I watched as she got passed from guy to guy in the villa, never being brave enough to throw my hat into the ring. She was waiting for Noah to finally ditch Hope and be with her, and he never did. The idiot never did. I remember her coming down into the room on the night before the finale... She was pale as a ghost. She admitted to me that Noah had asked her to sleep with him up on the roof terrace. She was absolutely horrified. She had told him she was never going to be the other woman, and that she had too much self respect, and respect for Hope to ever do something like that. She broke whatever they had together off that night, and she left the villa absolutely heart broken. She had fallen in love with a man who had clearly only viewed her as a bit of fun.

After we left the villa she moved to Glasgow, and we were inseparable. The more time I spent with her, the more convinced I was that maybe I would have a real chance if I played my cards right. I knew she was still grieving her relationship with Noah, and I didn't want to rush anything, but I could tell our friendship was starting to move into some blurry territory. We had always had a flirty type of banter with one another, but she had never looked at me the way she was looking at me that night in the pub. Her hand slowly grazing up my arm and landing on my shoulder. Her eyes locked on mine. I still remember the knot in my stomach as I opened my mouth, ready to ask her if I could kiss her. 

“Excuse me lass… Sorry for interrupting, but I saw you from across the pub and I knew I had to ask if I could buy you a drink.”

Both our eyes shot up to see a handsome man standing in front of our booth. He was at least 6’3, I could see his abs through his perfectly tailored shirt. His broad muscular shoulders and arms were also on perfect display. His dark hair was perfectly coiffed up and to the side, he had piercing blue eyes, and a killer smile. He looked like a literal God. MC’s mouth physically gaped as she took him in. She sheepishly made eye contact with me. 

“You don’t mind do you Bobs?” I plastered on the fakest smile I could muster. 

“Course not lass! Go have some fun! You deserve it.”

Every hope I had flew out the window as I watched her practically float over to the bar with him. I watched as she shared drinks with him, laughing at every joke, taking every opportunity to touch him, and then continued to watch as he lead her out to the dance floor, where they proceeded to dance until the pub closed. I stood awkwardly outside as he asked for her number, I was genuinely surprised he wasn’t inviting her back to his place, but happy all the same. 

MC made her way back over to me. 

“Bobs I think I just met my soul mate!” 

“That’s great MC, I’m glad you had a good time.”

“He was so respectful! I tried to invite him back to mine, but he said he really wanted to get to know me, and that he felt like we had a real connection! UGHHHH tonight was the best night of my life! Thank you so much for dragging me out!”

“Bobby? Hello?” I shook my head as I was removed from my trance to see MC frantically waving her hand in front of me. “Did you hear me?” 

“What? No… sorry I must have gotten too excited… What were you saying?”

“I said will you be my best person? I can’t get married without my best friend!” Her beautiful eyes looked up at me with hope.

A wave of nausea came over me. How was I ever going to survive watching the love of my life marry someone else? And even worse standing right next to her as she did it. The selfish part of me wanted to tell her no. Tell her to ask Chelsea, or Priya. Run away without saying a word. Anything that would have gotten me out of this, but I knew what I had to do. If I truly love her, then I should want her to be happy… even if it kills me. 

“Of course MC, I would be honored.”

She leaped into my arms, her familiar honey and vanilla scent engulfing my senses. Her long beautiful hair tickling my cheeks as we swayed back and forth in our embrace. 

“Thank you Bobs! I’m so happy!”

She pulled back to look me in the eyes “you’re my best friend in the entire world! Even though I didn’t find romantic love on Love Island, I found you, and that is so much better, and now I have both!”

My heart was cracking into a million pieces before her eyes, and she would never know, because I had never been brave enough to say anything.

“One more question…”

“Go for it.”

“Will you make the cake? I know I could hire some fancy bakery, but you and I both know you could kick their ass in a taste test any day. I want my cake to be special, and you’re the perfect man for the job!”

I stared back blankly for a second. Once again caught completely off guard. Tears welling up in my eyes.

“No pressure of course! If its too much to ask I really will go to a bakery, I just wanted to ask you first!”

“I’m flattered, of course I will make your cake.” I did my best to steady my breathing, and willed the tears forming in my eyes to evaporate. 

“Can’t have my best friend eating sub par cake on her wedding day can I?” My lame attempt at a joke to cover up the fact that I was ready to burst into tears any moment… Just not for the reason she was thinking.

She smiled back “I don’t know what I would do without you Bobs…” Tears forming in her eyes as well. 

She wiped her eyes and beamed up at me. Her pearly smile was almost enough to pull me out of my sadness. For a moment I could pretend this wasn’t real, pretend that I hadn’t missed my chance, pretend we were still just two best friends who could maybe be more some day. My eyes suddenly caught the glare off the ring on her finger. I dramatically shielded my eyes.

“Put that weapon away lass, I didn’t ask for you to perform laser eye surgery on me today.”

MC playfully swatted at me “You’re so dramatic Bobs! Stephen picked out a good one didn’t he? Its perfect!” She lifted up her hand and stared at the ring adoringly. “I can’t believe I’m getting married!”

“Have you set a date yet?”

A blush crept up her face “Uh yeah we have… we are getting married on July 13th.”

“July 13th?! MC that’s only a month and a half away!”

“I know, but when you find the person you want to spend forever with, you want forever to start as quick as possible!”

In a way I was grateful, at least it would be over quick. My suffering wouldn’t have to last for long… I mean other than the suffering of knowing I would never marry my soulmate… because she was marrying hers. But I could ignore that fact for now. 

“I’m happy for you lass.” a half smile creeping up onto my lips.

It wasn’t a complete lie, the loving best friend part of me really was happy for her. I didn’t know it was possible to feel so incredibly happy for a person, and also so unrelentingly sorrowful for yourself, and the vision you had for your life. It was a foreign feeling for me, and I didn’t know how to process it. Every nerve in my body felt like it was on fire, was it too much to ask for me to suddenly be struck dead in this moment? I was convinced it would hurt less than whatever I was feeling right now. 

“Well seems like we are going to have a busy next month and a half for ourselves!”

“I know! I’m so overwhelmed with everything I have to do, but having you and Stephen by my side I know everything will be alright! Especially since the cake is now sorted!” She threw a grateful wink in my direction.

One week later- dress shopping

“Was it really necessary to drag me along for this lass? This seems like Priya and Chelsea territory!”

MC shot me an apologetic look.

“I know, I’m sorry Bobs! It was such late notice, they couldn’t make the arrangements to be here! But lunch is on me! We can go anywhere you want! I promise!”

“Aye its fine lass, besides we all know I was the most fashionable person on that island.”

“Bobs your fashion sense nearly blinded me… on multiple occasions, but beggars can’t be choosers.”

I rolled my eyes in her direction “Jealousy isn’t a good look for you lass. Now stop sassing me and go try on some dresses already! Sooner you try on dresses, sooner I can start guzzling mimosas.”

MC threw out her middle finger and made her way back to the dressing room with the sales associate. I cackled at the gesture.

Some time later-

Dear Lord how long does it take to try on a dress? I have been waiting here for like 20 minutes now. I mindlessly scrolled through instagram while sitting on a terrible excuse of a couch. This couch must have been designed by satan himself. 

“Lass how much longer? We’re gonna miss your wedding all together at this rate!”

“Patience Bobby! My word you are a child! I’m coming now! Are you ready?”

“Yes! Now get your tiny arse out here already!”

But I wasn’t ready for the sight before me. Not by a long shot. She had on this beautiful white lace gown. Sleeveless with a sweetheart neckline, it was mermaid cut, with a sparkling diamond belt across the waist. The dress accentuated every perfect curve. Her tanned skin was glowing beneath the delicate lace fabric. My mouth ran dry, and I couldn’t form words. It was like my brain forgot how to function.

“Well… what do you think? I found this dress online and instantly fell in love with it.” She gave me a small spin, looking vulnerable but hopeful.

“MC… You look…”

“Its too much isn’t it?” her face faltered for a moment.

“NO! Its perfect. You look absolutely stunning. I just… wow. I have no words. Stephen is a lucky man.”

Tears welled up into her eyes as she looked at me in the reflection of the mirror. “Really? I have other dresses I can try on as well.”

“No! This… this is the dress. Its like it was made for you.”

I couldn’t help myself as my brain was flooded with images of her walking down the isle in that dress. Walking towards me, smiling at me, marrying me. Suddenly I didn’t want to go to brunch anymore, I wanted to be as far away from her as possible. These kinds of thoughts were not only not helpful for me, but also selfish. MC deserved her happily ever after… my only regret is that it came at the expense of mine. But it wasn’t her fault, she didn’t know my feelings for her. She had no idea I was dying inside, no clue for the last 6 months it felt like I was swallowing glass every time she was near as I was trying to swallow the realization that she would never be mine. My eyes stung with the tears that desperately wanted to make their way out.

“Ok well I will go get changed! Then we can head out for lunch!” MC once again shaking me out of my trance.

“UH… yeah sounds good.”

I hurried and texted Gary and asked him to call me in 10 minutes and just ignore everything I said. I had to get out of here, as much as I loved MC I needed to get away from her right now. I just didn’t have it in me to go to lunch.

I got the call as she walked out of the dressing room, back in her street clothes.

“What? Oh no! Ok! I am on my way!”

She looked up at me quizzically.

“I’m so sorry MC… I have to go. There is an emergency at the kitchen. Rain check?”

“Oh no! Is everything ok?”

“Uh I’m sure it will be, I just I gotta go!”

I turned on my heel and walked away. The tears I had been holding back began to softly streak down my cheeks. My thoughts had betrayed me, and now I needed to be alone and grieve. Be haunted by the ghost of what could have been, but will never be because I wasn’t brave enough.

The night of the rehearsal dinner-

I walked into the dinner hall, it was decorated expertly, Chelsea’s doing no doubt. Everything looked perfect. I grabbed a glass of champagne from a waiter and looked around for familiar faces. Of course my eyes found her almost immediately. She was standing in a far corner, holding onto Stephens arm as she greeted guests as they passed by. I chugged what was left in my glass and I made my way towards them.

“Bobs! You’re finally here!” MC pulled me into a tight squeeze. She released me, and Stephen pulled me in as well. 

“Good to see you mate! Glad you could make it!” 

I hated Stephen, I hated his stupid perfect hair, his dazzling smile, the way he carried himself with such confidence. But if I’m honest the thing I hated most about him is that he gave me no reason to hate him at all. He treated MC like a queen, and doted on her like a princess… He treated her exactly how I would have… had I ever been given the chance. The only reason I had to hate him was that he got to live the life I had been dreaming of. He had been nothing but kind to me, never acted jealous of our friendship, never seemed insecure… I mean why would he? He was walking perfection, why would he ever be threatened by the likes of me?

“Yeah… thanks for inviting me. Everything looks great. Chelsea really outdid herself this time!”

“I know!” MC screamed with excitement. “I can’t believe how well everything turned out! I was so worried with the time crunch, but it pays to have talented friends!” She threw a happy smile in my direction.

“How’s the cake coming?” She looked up at me expectantly. “Do we need to call for reinforcements?”

“The cake is perfect! Everything is baked, and I put it together. Just have to decorate it tomorrow morning. That’s actually why I’m a bit late. I wanted to make sure I had it all together tonight, and I didn’t want to be working on it when I’m drunk off my arse later tonight.”

Stephen let out a hearty laugh. “Thank you so much for doing the cake mate! MC said she would never trust anyone else to do it, so I really appreciate you taking the time to do that for us! She’s lucky to have you for a best friend, and I feel really lucky to call you a friend as well. You are truly one of the best guys I have ever met.”

I gave him a smile in return. “Thanks Stephen. That means a lot. I could never feel good about giving MC away to someone who didn’t deserve her. I’m glad you have proven yourself worthy.” 

The words tasted bitter on my tongue. Even though they were true, he did deserve her. The guilt I felt feeling the way I do about her was only made worse by that fact. It would be easy to feel this way if she was marrying an asshole. I would have no regrets looking at her and imagining what it would feel like to kiss her lips, what her body would feel like as it rocked with mine, but she was marrying a better version of me. A version of me I could never compete with, and looking at him now I knew even if she did choose me, she would be settling. He could offer her every single thing I could, and more. Looking in his eyes, and seeing the way he looked at her I knew he loved her just as much as I did. If not more. Though I wasn’t sure that was possible.

I was saved from myself by Stephen’s Nan coming over to speak to the happy couple I quietly excused myself. Sneaking past the caterers I snagged a bottle of whatever I could find, and made my way outside. Priya found me a short while and a three quarters of a bottle later. 

“Bobby, its good to see you.” She said quietly as she sat on the steps next to me. “It’s a beautiful evening.”

“Aye.”

“So how are you doing Bobby? It’s been a while since we spoke last.”

I didn’t respond. Not because I didn’t hear her, but because I honestly didn’t know what to say.

“I’m sure tonight has been difficult for you.”

I looked up at her in genuine surprise. “What do you mean?”

“Bobby… you may have everyone else fooled, but you can’t fool me. I know you are in love with MC.”

My mouth hung open for just a moment “I don’t know what you mean… I couldn’t be happier for the lass. She deserves the world, and now she’s getting it.” It came out more bitter than I had intended.

Priya thought for a moment before she responded. Her brows furrowing together.

“You’re right… she does deserve the world, but I know you wanted to be that world.”

I shook my head and bit my lip trying to signal to her that she was totally off base. But the alcohol was beginning to betray me, and tears began to trickle down my cheeks illuminated by the soft lights overhead in the darkness. 

“Its not fair.” I barely managed to choke the words out between sobs. “How am I supposed to stand next to her tomorrow while she says all the words I have been dreaming of hearing her say to another man?!” 

I was practically manic by this point, fueled by all the feelings I had been desperately trying to suppress over the past 8 months, and the nearly empty bottle of alcohol in my hand. Priya scooted closer and held me close while I choked out incoherent sentences. Starting and stopping multiple times. 

“Why does… have to be…. good guy?!” 

“Why… didn’t… make… a … when I… the… chance?

I took a deep breath trying to calm myself.

“Why doesn’t she love me Priya? Why doesn’t anyone ever love me back? Why am I just never good enough? Is there something wrong with me?” Priya stiffened “Bobby there is nothing wrong with you!” My body was shaking violently by this point. Priya was softly stroking my back as she tried to comfort me, but I could feel the tears she was shedding as well as they fell down onto my head.

Priya continued to stoke my back as I desperately tried to regain my composure. Embarrassed I had lost it in the first place.

“How am I supposed to keep it together tomorrow?”

“I don’t know Bobby… I wish I had the answers.” 

She delicately wiped the tears from her soft brown eyes as she pulled back enough to look into mine.

“I can see in your eyes how much you’re hurting. Tomorrow is going to hurt like hell, worse than any pain you have ever experienced… but after that your heart will begin to heal. Then someday you will find your Stephen, and you will be happier than you ever thought possible.” 

“But what if she was my Stephen? But I just wasn’t hers?”

“Bobby, you have the kindest heart, and the most genuinely sweet disposition. I know your Stephen is out there somewhere. For whatever reason she just hasn’t made herself known yet. But she will, and I promise she will be worth every tear, every heart ache, every single second you had to wait.”

“Thanks Priya…” I wasn’t totally convinced, but it was nice to think about. “I should really be heading home. I have to wake up at 5 to decorate the cake. But thank you for the talk Priya. I mean it.”

She pulled me into a warm hug

“You’re gonna be alright Bobby, I know it. Even if it doesn’t feel like it now.”

I made my way up the steps and called an uber. One more day… I just have to make it one more day. 

Wedding day-

I woke up at 4 just to be sure I would have enough time to put the finishing touches on the cake and get myself ready. I might not be the biggest cheerleader for this wedding, but I certainly wasn’t going to be the person to mess it up. Once the cake was perfected, I showered and dressed up in my finest kilt. Dark blue with a thin forest green plaid design. I buttoned up my final button on my white dress shirt, Added my navy tie, and The Dark blue blazer MC had picked out for me. I had to admit I was looking sharp. I looked myself over once more in the mirror. Pointing at myself.

“Today is MC’s special day. Don’t you dare mess it up. You keep it together for her sake.” And with that I made my way out of my flat, and to my car.

I entered into the bridal suite. It was absolute chaos. Chelsea was running around with an unplugged curling iron in her hair, trying to figure out why her hair wasn’t curling. Priya was powdering her nose, and moved to perfect her cat eye eyeliner. MC had a team of makeup artists, and hair stylists working tirelessly on her. 

“BOBS! Thank goodness you’re here!” Chelsea squealed. “Please tell me you can fix a curling iron!? Or maybe brought a spare?”

“Erm I’m no electrician Chels…. But in my experience those irons work best when plugged in.”

“Oh sugar!” Chelsea’s face fell into a scowl. 

I let out a small chuckle. “Just relax Chels, everything is going to work out just fine.”

I looked up to see MC making eye contact with me. She looked terrified. I made my way over to her and took her hand. 

“How’s the woman of the hour?”

“I’m good, I have no fears about marriage, but I am terrified this wedding is going to be a disaster! I should have given myself more time!” 

“Hey look in my eyes” she looked up with a pout.

“Today is not about anything other than you finally marrying the love of your life. If it doesn’t go perfectly who cares? It’s just things, you wont even remember it a few years down the line. Marriage is so much more than a wedding.”

MC let out a jagged breath. “You’re gonna make me cry! Thank you Bobby. I couldn’t do this without you!”

She was looking into my eyes. I bit my lip and turned away. “Welp lets get this show on the road! Weddings wait for no one!” Ignoring the lump in my throat.

I saw Priya looking at me in the mirror. She gave me a thumbs up and a soft smile while she mouthed “well done.”

The girls helped MC into her dress. If seeing her in it at the store was painful, now it was excruciating. Her hair was curled perfectly, every hair in place, her makeup was flawless, the flower crown she wore on her head brought out all the beautiful colors in her eyes. She looked like a literal angel. My chest tightened uncomfortably as I swallowed the emotions that were bubbling near the surface. Saying a silent prayer to myself that I would just make it through the ceremony, and the toast. Oh God the toast! I hadn’t even rehearsed what I wanted to say. I had been so preoccupied with just surviving, and the cake. Panic started to run through my veins like a flash flood. 

Priya gave me a small pat on the shoulder “You alright Bobs?”

“I forgot about the toast!” I whispered in her ear.

“Bobby it will be fine! Toasts are always best when they come from the heart anyway.”

“What if I can’t do it Priya… What if I’m not strong enough?”

“Bobby you are one of the strongest people I know, and one of the wittiest. You will be fine I promise!”

She gave me a final reassuring squeeze. “Now lets go get our girl married.”

I watched as MC made her way down the isle. It was exactly as I had pictured it, the only difference being that I was standing off to the side, while she made her way down smiling at her groom. I smiled through the pain like I always do when people are watching. Pull yourself together Bobby. Now is not the time.

The ceremony was beautiful. At least I’m pretty sure it was. After Stephen said his vows I tuned everything else out. I couldn’t listen to MC’s vows. My heart already felt like it was 5 sizes too big, and threatening to burst out of my chest at any moment. It lurched painfully as the officiant announced them as husband and wife. Watching them share their first kiss was surreal. I felt like I was watching it from a far away, everything moved in slow motion as they ran back down the isle. That was it. It was over. It was official, she would never be mine. She was literally running out of my life, and I couldn’t do anything to stop it. Her face was euphoric as she looked back at me offering me a wave and blowing me a kiss. Was it possible to physically feel your heart cracking? I was beginning to believe it was.

I made my way to the bathroom in the furthest corridor. I knew it would be the most private. As I closed the door behind me I slid down the length of the wall and placed my head between my knees cradling it in my hands. I finally allowed myself to break down. Tears were sliding down the thick wool of my kilt, and falling down to the ground. Wet spots gathered on the carpet on either side of my hips as the tears continued to fall. My shoulders shaking with the tension of trying to be quiet. I was interrupted by a soft knock on the door. I quickly hustled to my feet and frantically wiped the tears from my face. I did my best to make my voice sound normal.

“Who is it?”

“It’s me Bobby.” Priya’s familiar calming voice came from the other side. “I just wanted to check on you.”

“Everything is good here, I’ll be out in a minute yeah?”

“Bobby...” her voice sounded knowing on the other side.

“I promise, I will be there I just needed a minute.”

“Ok… if you say so. MC was looking for you… it’s almost time to take pictures.”

“Oh of course… No problem.”

“I have some eye drops if you need them… Sometimes my eyes get a little red and irritated from allergies… Helps reduce the redness… Just in case you are experiencing any allergies today. I’ll leave them out here.”

I knew she knew I wasn’t having an allergy problem, but I was grateful she chose to spare what little dignity I had left. I walked over to the sink, I looked a mess. My eyes were red and swollen, my cheeks splotchy, my nose was running like a faucet on full blast. I blew my nose, turned on the faucet as cold as it would go, and splashed the icy water on my face. Drying it off with a hand towel I found near by. I opened the door a crack and retrieved the eye drops Priya had left for me. Dropping two drops in each eye. I looked almost the same as I had this morning now. Still slightly puffy and splotchy, but not like I needed to be committed to a mental hospital as I had moments before. I gave my tie a slight readjust and made my way out of the bathroom and into the banquet hall. I grabbed a drink from a waiter and downed it in one swallow. I just needed to feel numb if I was going to have to smile though photos, and greet guests. Pretending I wasn’t dead inside. I am a master at concealing my feelings, but even I have my limits, and I was getting dangerously close to them tonight. I grabbed one more drink again knocking it back in one swallow. 

“Bobs! There you are! Its time for pictures!” MC called out to me.

“Yeah, sorry I had to make a phone call.” I lied through my teeth. “I’m ready to dazzle in these pics. Not to brag, but we all know how photogenic I am. I didn’t win Mr Love Island for nothing.”

“Well try to tone it down today yeah? It’s my day! I’m not trying to compete with my Mr. of honor.” She rolled her eyes at me.

“Are you asking me to dim my sparkle? That is pretty selfish of you. But I guess I can try… at least for today.” 

Even I was impressed with how well I was pulling this off. I smiled for pictures, downing drinks between poses. Damn my high tolerance for alcohol. Finally it was time for the speeches. I was up first. The drinks were starting to hit me, and once again I began to panic that maybe I had over done it, and I was going to word vomit things I wouldn’t normally admit. I swallowed hard as I made my way up to the mic. Taking a deep breath to clear my head.

“As you know I am Bobby, MC’s Mr of Honor. MC is my best friend in this entire world, I would do anything for her. Many of you are probably wondering why she chose a man as her best person. I think she secretly chose me because she didn’t want to have to compete with her bridesmaids today… But jokes on her. She must have forgotten that my gams look fetching in a kilt.”

I struck my best pose to accentuate my legs. The crowd broke into laughter.

“I’ll keep this short and sweet, just like MC.”

More laughter. I took another deep breath. Time to put jokes aside, and give her the speech she deserves today.

“I have never known anyone who deserved a happily ever after more so than MC. She is honest, caring, loving, a shit baker, but a great chef. She truly cares about people around her. She will go out of her way to make someones day better. Her smile can brighten up your darkest days, and if she tells you everything is going to be ok you really believe her. She cracks the best jokes, and she will make you laugh until you are gripping your sides, and struggling to breathe. She is competitive, but not in an obnoxious way, but enough to let you know shes not going down without a fight. She stands up for what and who she believes in. She gives the best advice, and always has a listening ear. I haven’t known Stephen for quite as long, but the moment those two made eye contact, I knew. I could feel the spark emanating from the two of them. I know Stephen will treat her with the respect and love that she deserves all of her life, and she will do the same. I know they will be each others rocks through the hardships, and the ups and downs in their journey together, and when they need even more support I will always be there to hold them both up as well. These are two people who truly deserve the world, and looking at them today I know they found that in each other.” 

I hadn’t realized the tears were falling again until I felt them drip down onto my hand. I looked up to see both MC and Stephen with tears in their eyes as well. As much as it was absolutely killing me inside to admit, in my heart I finally knew MC was never meant to be mine, looking at them now I knew that was true. I was truly only meant to play a side character in her life, not the main. 

“I wish you two nothing but love and happiness as you forge on to your new life together. Be good to each other.” I raised my glass to finish the toast. "Cheers darlin'." 

I made my way off of the stage and found a seat in the corner. I listened as Stephen’s best man gave his toast, while continuing to down drinks. Even though I had accepted my fate, it didn’t stop the ache that was pulsing through my chest. Like an active volcano, ready to erupt at any moment. I watched as Stephen and MC had their first dance. Her head resting so perfectly on his chest as they swayed back and forth to the music. Both so incredibly content in each others arms, while mine felt hollow, and somehow heavy at the same time. Empty, vacant, abandoned. Observed as they cut their cake, MC smashing the cake into his face, and Stephen doing the same… though not as viciously. I could feel the cake being smashed on my face, like a ghost taunting me. And finally stood outside with sparklers in hand as they made their escape. Officially starting their new lives together. They stopped for a moment to give me a quick hug.

“I love you Bobs… thank you so much for making today so special.” She gave me a quick peck on the cheek, and Stephen gave me a tight squeeze. 

“We love you mate!” 

Then they were gone. Everyone made their way either back inside, or to their cars to head home. I stood outside alone for a long time. The cool breeze dancing around me like the violent seas that were swirling inside of me. I finally I decided to head inside to help the family with some cleanup, but I found the venue empty. I guess I had been outside longer than I thought. I made my way to the piano in the opposite corner of the room. I sat down and began haphazardly playing. Playing mostly sad chords, however I soon realized I had begun to play oh my darlin clementine. I sang it softly for a minute, my voice sounding strangled and foreign. I was trying to keep the raging fire that had engulfed my chest cavity at bay. Singing my final goodbye to the woman I love. It brought me a moment of catharsis, but soon enough it turned to blinding rage. I began slamming the keys in my anger, before slumping over the piano in sobs. Damaged, bleeding, broken beyond repair, and alone.


	2. Modern loneliness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say that time heals all wounds... but Bobby's don't seem to be healing. But maybe he's about to meet somebody who can change that.
> 
> Song of the chapter is modern loneliness by Lauv

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter introduces my personal MC. I hope you all love Ellie!

October 28th 

Its been one year, three months, fifteen days, and ten hours since I watched the love of my life run down the isle with the love of her life. Running towards her bright future, leaving me in my own darkness. To say the last year has been rough would be a bit of an understatement. Even though I had fully accepted that I was never meant to be MC’s forever, that didn’t make the pain disappear. The fact that I was no longer “in love” with MC didn’t make watching her live the life I had envisioned for us together with somebody else any less agonizing. Seeing MC and Stephen together so happy was in a way a bit of a consolation prize, at least I didn’t lose her for nothing. Still sucked though.

Even though it killed me, I continued to be in both of their lives. MC was still my best friend in the world, and even if I couldn’t be with her the way I wanted, I couldn’t cut myself off completely either. She was the only bit of sunshine in my world that seemed to be draining of color more and more with each passing day. My life became a monotonous routine. Wake up, eat breakfast, take the tram to work, work my shift, take the tram home, change into sweats, and drink myself into oblivion in the solitude of my own apartment. 

I rarely made time to see friends, because it took every single ounce of energy I had to put on my happy face and pretend that my life was still all sunshine and rainbows. Convincing them all that I was just busy and that’s why I hadn’t been around. It was easier to plaster on a grin and throw around jokes than it was to admit that I felt like I was bleeding out slowly, like a death by paper cuts. Keeping just enough blood inside my body to keep me alive, but not enough to let me truly live. I was living the loneliest existence. Putting on a show for everyone, then falling apart when I was alone. The only person I was close enough to confide in was the very person who had caused the damage in the first place. I truly felt alone. 

I was pulled out of my inner monologue by MC’s sweet face looking up at me with childlike curiosity. She had asked me to lunch, and she was the one friend I always made time for. As much as she was the cause of my pain, she was also the cure.

“Sorry what was your question?” I hadn’t even noticed she was talking to me.

“I didn’t ask a question!” She looked at me confused. Waiting for me to say something, but when I didn’t even try she shook her head dismissively and rolled her eyes. “I was pointing out that our waitress was very clearly flirting with you! You should ask for her number! She’s hot!”

I sheepishly looked over to see the waitress giving me her best megawatt smile. She bit her lip and gave me what I was assuming were her bedroom eyes. I gave her a small smile and a wave, trying to politely show her I wasn’t interested. Doing my best to not make it awkward. Her smile suddenly faltering, as she huffed and made her way back to the kitchen.

“Yeah, shes alright. I’m just not really looking for anything at the moment.”

MC looked back at me like I had sprouted a 3rd head out of my body before narrowing her eyes as she leaned forward placing her elbows on the table, and resting her chin on her hands.

“Bob’s when is the last time you went out on a date?” 

I shifted in my seat suddenly feeling uncomfortable.

“Oh… erm… I don’t know. It’s been a while I guess. Been really busy and all that.” 

“Surely you aren’t too busy for a love life Bobs!” Her eyes were wide with confusion. “You seemed so ready to settle down and start a family when we were back in the villa! But now it seems like its the last thing on your mind! Every time we go out on the town some girl locks her sights on you, and every single time she leaves disappointed. It’s like you don’t even notice them until one of us points it out." 

I began to frantically look for an exit out of this conversation. The last thing I needed was a painful reminder that I was so ready for the life MC was living with Stephen. The life I thought we would be living together. How am I supposed to explain that the reason I’m not looking for anything right now, or possibly ever is because my heart was literally torn out of my chest, obliterated, and cracked beyond repair? Especially to the person who unknowingly did it? I just don’t know if there is enough of my heart left to even offer to anyone else. 

“I don’t know, I guess I just haven’t found anyone who I could see a future with.”

“Have you even tried?”

“Why are you so worried about it MC? I’m a big boy! I can take care of myself.”

My answer came out more prickly than I had intended. MC’s eyebrows shot up, clearly confused by my sudden annoyance. 

“Sorry, I just… I don’t know.” Both of our eyes softening. “I guess dating is just not my top priority right now. I just have a lot on my plate right now.” 

“I didn’t mean to intrude, I just worry about you sometimes Bobs.” She tentatively reached across the table and grabbed my hand. “I can see you are upset about something, but you have been desperately trying to repress it for a while now. I can see it in your eyes, they just don’t have that sparkle they used to have. I’m not going to badger you about it, but I am always here for you when you are ready, and if you ever want to talk about it.”

I was caught off guard. I thought I had done an excellent job at covering my tracks. I guess I underestimated MC and her powers of observation. I smiled at MC and gave her hand a reassuring pat. 

“Everything is good here MC, like I said, I just have a lot on my plate. Maybe I just don’t handle stress that well.” 

I was lying through my teeth, and I could see we both knew it, but true to her word she just gave me an unsure nod and a half smile.

“Ok Bobs, but please just know I’m here for you.”

We sat in uncomfortable silence for a few moments before I decided to break the tension.

“So… you didn’t ask me to lunch to discuss my love life surely. To what do I owe the pleasure?”

I gave her my most dazzling smile as I did my best to bow down while seated in a chair. 

MC threw her head back and cackled at my poor attempt. 

“I… I have some news, but maybe I should wait.”

“No! Come on MC what’s your news?”

“Well… its nothing really, totally not a big deal.” She smirked at me. Clearly this was big news if she was dragging it out like this.

I rolled by eyes in mock agony.

“Spit it out lass! I’m positively aging over here.”

She reached across the table and playfully swatted at me.

“You’re so dramatic! Honestly, such a child.” She moved around in her chair, as if she was thinking of how she wanted to approach the situation. Running her hand through her hair. “Speaking of children… Bobs… I’m, I’m pregnant!” 

She was looking at me expectantly. That all too familiar ache filled my chest. That dull confusing feeling once again of being so incredibly happy for someone, while also filling with sorrow, and mourning. It had been my constant companion over the last year. I shot up from my seat and made my way over to MC. Wrapping her up in the tightest hug.

“Congratulations MC, that’s incredible! I.. I’m so happy for you… and Stephen of course.” 

We stood there rocking back and forth for a moment MC laughing into my neck before I suddenly pulled away, worried I had done something to hurt her or the baby. 

“I’m sorry! That hug was probably too tight! Are you ok?”

MC pulled back laughing.

“You’re fine Bobs. I’m not made of glass.”

We sat back down at the table. “So when are you due?”

“March 29! I’m 4 months along today.”

“Four months lass! Why didn’t you tell me sooner?”

“We haven’t told anybody yet. Only our parents know. We just wanted to make sure everything was good before we made any major announcements. I didn’t want to risk having the press find out. I want to have some form of privacy during this pregnancy. I have a doctors appointment today, we are going to find out the gender!”

“That’s amazing lass, I am truly so happy for you. You are going to be an amazing mother.”

MC’s eyes filled with tears. “Thank you Bobs, I am so excited, nervous, scared, elated, all the emotions really, but I am so grateful to have Stephen by my side through it all. He is so excited, and he has been going crazy buying all the things! It’s so adorable!”

Ah there was the familiar sharp pain I was also used to. The sudden stab to my chest. It was less common, but certainly still more familiar than I would care for it to be. I knew I would be the exact same if I were in Stephens position. I pictured the little matching apron and chef hat set I know for sure I would have purchased by now. Envisioned teaching our child the proper technique for stirring delicate cake batter. Only to be slapped with the realization that once again this was not my reality, and likely never would be. I was merely a bystander. 

“We are having a gender reveal party this weekend. It would really mean the world to me and Stephen if you came. We wanted to talk to you about something, and I know Chelsea and Priya have really missed you. They said they haven’t seen you in quite a while… They always ask me about you.”

I pulled myself back from my spiral. Meeting her eyes and giving her my most comforting smile. 

“Of course I’ll be there MC. I wouldn’t miss it.”

The gender reveal party

I walked into their home, everything was covered in pink and blue decorations. Once again obviously Chelsea’s doing. To my surprise it was a pretty small affair. Just family and close friends. Maybe 15-20 people tops. I spotted MC right away, as I always did. She was always the first person to catch my eye in any room, however Stephen noticed me first. He made a b-line directly for me.

“Bobby! Bruv it’s so good to see you!” He said as he swooped me up in a tight embrace. “It’s been a minute since I have seen you! Thank you so much for coming to celebrate with us.”

Stephen finally released me, and I smiled up at him patting him on his rock solid shoulder. 

“Of course, I wouldn’t miss it. Congratulations mate. I’m thrilled for you both.”

Man I had tried hard to hate this guy, but how do you hate someone who is basically human perfection with the personality of a golden retriever? He had slowly won me over, to the point where I honestly considered him one of my closest friends. 

MC made her way over pulling me in a tight embrace. “You’re here!”

“Of course I’m here! What did you think I was going to ghost you? You’re a crazy hormonal pregnant lady now! You would probably hunt me down.”

Stephen laughed, but quickly shut his mouth when MC shot around to look at him giving him the death glare.

“Point made I see.” I said gesturing to her husband.

Stephen once again burst into laughter. 

MC rolled her eyes and gestured for us all to make our way to the back yard. Priya and Chelsea were sitting comfortably in lawn chairs. I immediately noticed the rock on Priya’s hand.

“Dean finally wised up and proposed I see! Looks like all of my friends are leaving old bachelor Bobby in the dust!” 

Priya and Chelsea shot up running towards me, taking turns wrapping me in hugs.

“Bobby its so good to see you! Feels like it’s been ages since I saw you last, OMG so much has happened! I have all the gossip! We really have missed you!”

“My goodness Chels take a breath!” the group all laughed as Priya tried to calm the petite blonde down. “Let the poor man have some space. She is right though, we have missed you.”

“Oh sugar, sorry Bobby! I didn’t mean to overwhelm you. I am just so excited to see you. It’s been at least 5 months since I saw you last.”

“Yeah… sorry about that Chelsea. Been really busy. We are together now though. I have missed you guys too. I promise I will do better about getting together. Now lets hear about this engagement Priya.”

This seemed to pacify Chelsea. She grabbed onto my arm dragging me over to sit with them. Determined to fill me in on all the latest news within all of our love island crew. 

Priya told me all about her engagement, it had only happened a week ago. She was getting married in June. I was so happy for her, she had been an amazing friend to me, and she deserved all the happiness in the world. 

We found out MC and Stephen were having a girl. A beautiful baby girl. They were so excited, and it warmed my heart to see the joy and surprise on both of their faces. The party finally began to die down, so I decided to help clean up before heading out. I went around giving my goodbyes and hugs to everyone. Promising to be better about keeping in contact.

“Bobby wait! Before you go… We uh… we wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Oh sure! What’s up?”

“Come with us.” Stephen said. We made our way to one of the bedrooms. When we entered I could see this was intended to be the nursery. It obviously wasn’t completed, but I saw a beautiful gray crib in the center of the room, and multiple paint swatches pinned up on the wall. MC looked at me, she suddenly looked nervous.

“Is everything ok?”

“Yes of course! Everything is wonderful… Stephen and I have been talking, and we both came to an agreement that we wanted to ask you if you would be willing to be the God father. You mean so much to both of us, and I know you are going to mean so much to our baby as well. I mean of course you will be uncle Bobby either way, but we both just felt so strongly that you should be the God Father if you are willing.”

Tears welled up in my eyes. I don’t know what I had expected, but it certainly wasn’t that. 

“I would be honored you guys.”

They gathered me up in a group hug, I felt the happiest I had felt in years, a true feeling of joy radiating through me. It was such a foreign feeling, I almost didn’t recognize it at first. My first genuine smile ghosting against my lips.

“I’m gonna love the hell out of that little girl! Mark my words! I am going to spoil her rotten!”

They both just laughed. “What a lucky little girl she will be then.” Stephen said punching me on the arm.

“How are you going to choose the God Mother? How are you going to choose between Priya and Chelsea?”

They exchanged a glance.

“Actually we have chosen the God Mother already. We decided to go with Stephens favorite cousin Ellie.”

“Ellie… Ellie.” I was trying to picture her face, but coming up blank. “I met so many members of both your families at the wedding… I can’t seem to place her.”

“No, she actually wasn’t at the wedding. She is a singer, and she was on tour during the wedding. With us only giving her a month and a half notice she wasn’t able to take the time off to come. She is on tour right now as well, which is why she wasn’t here tonight, but her tour finishes up in February. So she will be here by the time the baby comes.”

“Oh I see.”

“But yeah she was my best friend growing up. We have been close since we were children.”

“I’m excited for you to meet her! You’re going to love her!” MC beamed up at me. “She’s absolutely gorgeous, and single!”

I rolled my eyes. “MC is this some kind of reverse parent trap set up?”

“NO! I wouldn’t use my own child to perform a parent trap situation!” She gasped in mock horror. “That being said if you hit it off you hit it off.”

Stephen just laughed beside her. “Don’t worry mate, I think MC is just getting a bit broody. The baby isn’t here yet, so I guess she has set her sights on mothering you.”

MC swatted at him and rolled her eyes. “I’m sorry I want to see my best friend happy. Don’t you want to see Ellie happy as well?”

“Of course, but they are both adults. If they like each other great! But if they don’t then they never have to see each other again, unless they end up raising our child together in the unlikely event that we both die.”

We all burst into laughter. 

“Please don’t make this awkward for me MC. I told you the other day, I am not looking to settle down right now. Maybe the old bachelor life is really my calling. I will just die alone, while spoiling my God daughter.”

“You deserve to find someone Bobby, you deserve to be happy. You deserve a beautiful full life.”

Her words stung, she could see right through my facade, and it was glaringly obvious. It was like this motherly instinct had already kicked in, and she could finally see I was lying. She may not know why I am avoiding dating, and settling down, but she can certainly see I am avoiding putting myself out there. She can clearly see I am not happy, and I haven’t been for a while. 

“Yeah yeah. Thank you MC. I will take it under consideration.” I said trying to lighten the mood. “Anyways its getting late, I better get going.”

They both nodded, and we made our way to the front door. Stephen pulled me in for a hug first.

“Thanks again for being here mate, it really meant so much to us both. And I’m sorry, I hope that conversation didn’t make you uncomfortable.”

“Oh don’t worry about it bruv, you know me! I’m always good!”

“Love you mate!”

MC was next. “I love you Bobs, you are so important to us. I just want to see you happy.”

“Don’t worry about me MC. Really I’m going to be alright. I promise. I love you both.” 

I waved my final goodbyes as I made my way to my car. Making a silent vow to myself that I was going to be better, I was going to dig myself out of this hole. The time for sulking was over, and now was the time to focus on being the best friend I could be, and the best God Father for my new little God Daughter. 

*April*

Over the last several months I had been true to my word. I stopped drinking, made more of an effort to see friends and family, started running and exercising again, and had genuinely focused on trying to be happy. It wasn’t a perfect process that’s for sure, but slowly color began to return to my life. MC gave birth to a beautiful baby girl on March 20th Olivia Jade Addair. She was the most beautiful little baby I had ever seen. She had big blue eyes like Stephen, but everything else was MC. She had given me a reason to breathe again. Today they were having the christening, and then a big luncheon with all of the friends and family.

I got out of bed and started to get ready. I had just gotten out of the shower when MC called. I hurried and wrapped myself up in a towel before answering her facetime call.

“Hello?”

“Bob’s so glad I caught you! Olivia wanted to say hello!” Stephen held Olivia up to the phone, waving her tiny little arm. “Hi uncle Bobby!” 

I let out a laugh. “Hello beautiful girl! Uncle Bobby is a little busy right now trying to get ready! What’s up?” 

“Yeah I can see that! Put some clothes on you weirdo!” MC laughed. “Have you been working out? You look good Bobs!” 

I rolled my eyes. “Stop trying to butter me up MC, what do you need?”

“Sorry! Ok I totally forgot to pick up the balloons! Any chance you could pick them up on your way over here?”

“Yeah of course! Anything else?”

“No that’s everything! You are already bringing the cupcakes.”

I mentally debated whether or not to play a little joke and act like I forgot. I decided against it. I wasn’t looking to get murdered today.

“You got it MC! I will hurry and get dressed and head over to pick up the balloons!”

A little while later.

I entered the house carrying the balloons, a large cupcake display, and a carrying case filled with the cupcakes for the luncheon. I looked like a one man circus act. As I entered MC ran past me half of her hair still in curlers. Yelling back at me as she went.

“Bobby thank goodness you are here! Put the cakes over on the counter, and then take the balloons into the nursery!”

“Sounds good.” 

I made my way into the kitchen and set down the cupcakes and stand. Wrangling the balloons I made my way back towards Olivia’s nursery. I entered the room, and had to turn around trying to delicately get every balloon through the doorway. 

“Goodness MC how many balloons do we really need? Shes barely a month old!”

I heard a small giggle come from behind me. I whirled around, startled by the noise. I was met by a set of piercing blue eyes. They were a shade of blue I had never seen before, almost teal with the golden and green flecks in the center. She had long icy blonde hair that hung in loose curls around her shoulders, beautiful full lips, long shapely legs, and an absolutely dazzling smile. She wore an electric blue dress that came up just past her knees, with a thin strap at the shoulders, showing her toned arms, and perfectly hugged every curve of her body, while also accentuating her eyes. She held Olivia close, while ever so slightly bouncing her in her arms. I was absolutely gobsmacked. She was easily one of the most beautiful women I had ever laid eyes on. I can only imagine how I must look right now sizing her up. I felt like a cartoon character. I did my best to pick my jaw up off the ground, and form a coherent sentence. 

“Why don’t you take a picture? It will last longer.” her voice was melodic almost. 

“Sorry… I… uh… MC told me to put the balloons in here… I didn’t know anyone was in here.” My words coming out too fast, and shoved together. My face must have been purple by this point. I wanted to die of embarrassment.

She leaned her head back and fully laughed. Her laughter was contagious, and I found myself soon relaxing and laughing as well. “I was only teasing. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.” 

She made her way over to me, sticking out her free hand while cradling Olivia in her other. “Hi, I’m Ellie. Nice to meet you, you must be the famous Bobby!” 

I reluctantly took her hand to shake it, a weird sensation running through my body. Was it adrenaline from when she scared me? It was strange, it was almost like I felt my heart beat for the first time in nearly 2 years. My cheeks instantly feeling warm.

“Nice to meet you Ellie.”

She met my eyes and smiled at me. My word what are we feeding the Addair family? I had thought Stephen was attractive when I met him the first time, but Ellie had fully taken my breath away. I hadn’t felt this shaken possibly ever. I remember when MC entered the villa my breath definitely caught in my throat, but I was able to collect myself for the most part. My mind was absolutely reeling right now. 

“I was just looking at all of the pictures Stephen and MC hung in here. There are quite a few of you. I must say you are even more handsome in person.”

I stopped dead in my tracks…. I’m sorry, did she just say I was handsome? What kind of opposite day is this? I looked up to see her cheeks slightly reddening. Was she embarrassed she just said that? 

As I opened my mouth to respond Stephen entered the room. “Hey Ellie, are you ready to head out? Oh hey Bobby! I see you two met.” He paused noticing the blush on both of our faces, and the fact that we were looking anywhere but at each other. The slightest smirk quirking up on the corners of his lips. “Right. Well I am going to take Olivia, and get her strapped into her pram. We are going to head out in about five minutes if you are ready.” He quickly grabbed Olivia out of Ellie’s arms, and made his way out the door. Leaving the two of us alone. The air was thick with awkward tension. 

“I better go get my shoes on.”

She made her way to the door, which I happened to be standing right next to. The crib making the entrance a bit cramped. It hadn’t felt as cramped as Stephen made his way in and out, I guess because I was familiar with Stephen, but suddenly it felt incredibly small. We both blushed a bit again.

“Excuse me, sorry.” she said as she slipped past me. I caught a whiff of her delicate perfume. How does someone look that good, and also smell that amazing? Life is not fair.

The rest of the afternoon had gone by quickly. I found myself trying to distance myself from Ellie. She made me feel very nervous, and I had made such a fool of myself earlier. Not to mention the strange feeling I got around her, whenever I was around MC I had always felt like I had been wrapped in a blanket strait out of the dryer, but around Ellie I felt like I was standing in the middle of a forest fire. It was a very strange feeling. Especially considering I had spent nearly the past two years feeling like I had been thrown into icy water. Slowly drifting away as my body gave into the numb feeling of hypothermia. Now suddenly every nerve ending was on fire.

I did my best to make my rounds, greeting all of MC’s family, and our friends. Ellie always seemed to be nearby. Making it nearly impossible to think strait. I was talking to Chelsea, Priya, and her fiance Dean when Ellie approached our group. Taking her spot right next to me. She introduced herself to the group, Priya gave me a pointed look. We chatted for a few minutes, and then I decided to make my exit, I wasn’t sure I would see any of them before they left, so I began giving hugs all around, until I made it to Ellie. I wasn’t quite sure how to handle this situation, clearly Captain B Smooth had taken his leave of absence a long time ago. I decided just to go for it and wrapped her up in a hug as well, she seemed caught off guard at first, but quickly returned the hug. Wrapping her arms around my neck. I pulled back and said “It was very nice to meet you.” then I quickly made my exit feeling like a total knob. You barely know her you idiot, excellent first impression you are making. I thought to myself. I didn’t even dare look back. 

I made my way towards MC and Stephen. “Can I hold the little princess?” MC handed her over, seemingly grateful to give her arms a break. I made my way back to her nursery with her. Sitting down in the large comfy rocking chair, I began talking to Olivia.

“Your uncle Bobby is a pretty big idiot did you know that? It’s true. He wasted so much time being sad, that now he doesn’t know how to interact with people. Lucky I will always have you right?” Olivia looked up at me with her big beautiful eyes, looking bored to be honest, and a little tired. I decided to rock her to sleep while singing all the Scottish lullabies my mother used to sing to me. She finally closed her eyes, and I looked up to see Ellie leaning against the doorway.

“You have a beautiful singing voice.”

My cheeks flushed red once again.

“Oh… erm thank you. Sorry I didn’t see you come in.”

“MC sent me to fetch Olivia so she could put her down for a nap. But it looks like you beat her to it. The party has pretty much cleared out now.” 

“Oh.. I didn’t realize I had been gone that long. Time flies when you are with the littlest princess.”

I stood up and crossed the room, giving Olivia a little kiss on the head before delicately laying her down in her crib.

“I guess I should get going, I’m sure MC and Stephen are absolutely knackered. It’s been a long day.” 

She stepped away from the door frame so I could exit, and we made our way to the front door. I took a step out, and she followed me.

“Your cupcakes were delicious! I probably ate 4 of them.” she let out a small giggle.

I looked up at her in surprise. “Oh thank you! Baking is my passion. It’s really the only thing I have ever been good at.”

Ellie gave me a once over. Sitting down on the front step, motioning for me to sit next to her. “I don’t think that’s true. I just heard you sing, you are quite talented, I also see you are great at getting babies to sleep. I also happen to know you are a great friend. That’s a skill, and not one that everyone possesses. MC and Stephen gush about you constantly.”

I didn’t know what to say, my brain was honestly having a hard time computing that a goddess was complimenting me. I turned bright red for the seemingly 1000th time today.

She let out another small laugh. “Looking at you I would never assume red is your color, but it really seems to suit you.” 

“I look good in every color.” I said with a cheeky wink. I had no idea where that sudden burst of confidence came from, but I was grateful for it. At least I managed to get words out, even if they were dumb as hell.

Ellie raised a curious eyebrow. “Is that so?”

I let out a nervous laugh “Probably not, but to be honest I am just grateful to finally get a comprehensive sentence out of my mouth around you today.”

She let out another full belly laugh, and that sound was addictive. I once again found myself laughing along. She reached out touching my arm as she caught her breath. Leaving goosebumps behind when she took her hand back. 

We sat out on the porch talking. The conversation was flowing so effortlessly. Ellie was really easy to talk to once I started actually talking. She told me all about her career, her passion for music, and told exciting stories about all the cool places she had been on tour. I told her about my days in Paisley Cuddle, she got quite a kick out of thinking about me in a punk rock band. We talked about her growing up with no siblings, and with famous parents who rarely had time for her, and how lonely that had been, but explained why Stephen had become her closest friend and basically sibling. I talked about my family, what it was like growing up with an older sister, and what our relationship had been like throughout the years. She told me about growing up in America, and then transitioning to London when she was twelve. I told her about my passion for baking, and how my grandfather had taught me everything I knew. Ellie listened the whole time, never breaking eye contact. Suddenly the porch lights came on. I hadn’t realized it was even getting dark. I looked down at my watch. 10 PM. We had been out here for more than 4 hours.

“Oh wow, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize how late it had gotten. Here I am boring you with my stories, and you probably had things to do, or wanted to visit with Stephen.”

“You weren’t boring me at all Bobby. You are really easy to talk to. I have really enjoyed getting to know you. To be honest I was nervous to meet you.”

My eyebrows shot up to my forehead in surprise. “You were nervous to meet me? How is that possible?”

She took a moment to think before responding. “MC and Stephen have talked about you so much, and always told me how amazing and wonderful you are. I guess you just sounded pretty perfect. I mean you cook, you’re funny, you’re a total gentleman, a good friend, then watching you rocking Olivia and singing to her… like ooof I just don’t actually understand how you are single.”

I honestly didn’t even know how to respond. I felt like the cameras were going to pop out at any second and reveal this was all an elaborate prank. 

“I’m sorry I am just looking for the camera men… like surely this is a prank. Like I just don’t understand.”

She giggled again “I’m serious! You are a total catch! You seem to be the only person in this world that doesn’t realize that. I asked Chelsea and Priya about you earlier, Priya told me that you are a little timid around dating, but that you were totally worth the effort. Everyone I talked to today had nothing but a glowing review of you.”

“You asked about me?” A genuine smile playing at my lips. “Honestly is it April fools? Like my brain absolutely does not compute what is happening right now. Like an absolute Goddess is sitting in front of me right now talking nonsense.”

“Genuine people are rare, I know that possibly better than anybody. I usually have my guard rails set up pretty high, but I have spent the last nearly five hours talking to you about things that I have rarely spoken about with anyone. Even Stephen. The second you came walking into the nursery I felt a spark.”

The air crackled with tension around us. I genuinely could not believe any of what I was hearing. I decided to shoot my shot. What did I have to lose? I mean besides what ounce of dignity I had left.

“Well at this rate we should probably just meet up again tomorrow for coffee or something. See if we can turn that spark into a forest fire.” I said it almost in a joking manner, in an attempt at self preservation, and also so she wouldn’t feel pressured to say yes. 

Ellie looked up into my eyes, her cheeks ever so slightly pink, as a smirk found its way to her beautiful lips. “Bobby… If I didn’t know any better I would think you were asking me out.” 

“What would you say if I said I was?” I asked timidly. Scared to make eye contact. 

She moved her head so that she could look me square in the eyes and said “Good. Pick me up at 8.” And with that she hopped up from her seat next to me making her way to the door. 

She turned and blew me a kiss as she closed the door behind her. I sat on the step for a good ten minutes, wondering what the hell just happened, and how on earth Ellie had just agreed to go on a date with me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is not the end! As always thank you so much for giving my fic a read!


	3. Everything has changed.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I decided to make this chapter a background story for our dear Ellie, it is also the day of the christening told from her perspective. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter! I am sorry it took so long to get it out! Song for this chapter is Everything has changed by Taylor Swift.

POV Ellie: Morning of the Christening:*

I woke up feeling anxious and excited. Being asked to be the God Mother to sweet little Olivia was something I never expected, but also something I was so incredibly honored to be. Growing up an only child, I lived a very lonely life. My parents were both rich and famous, and as much as I knew they loved me, they also had lives that weren’t exactly conducive to a “traditional family life.”. My mother was a beautiful American actress, and my father a Scottish movie producer. I spent most of my life moving from place to place while they filmed various movies, spending summers in Glasgow with my Uncle, Aunt, and cousin Stephen, or being left behind with nannies. 

When I was 12 when they made the decision to send me to boarding school in London. They were hoping to give me some form of consistency, but what I got was years of exile and loneliness. I had few friends, and the ones I did have I always had to question if they were really my friends, or just hoping to get a few minutes of fame by association. My saving grace in all of this was music. I was able to express myself through the words of my music, and the melodies, like I never had in conversations. Feel feelings, and feel understood better than I ever had. 

My final year of school Stephen joined me in London as he started University of London. Having him near made life so much easier. He was outgoing, smart, and made friends everywhere he went. He dragged me out of my shell, and introduced me to a life I had never really known. A life full of laughter, close friends, and confidence. 

A few years later my music career began to take off. Being thrust back into the spotlight was difficult for me, but I knew my music could be healing to someone else like it had always been for me. I kept my life as private as possible, hoping that letting my music speak for itself would be enough. From the outside looking in it would look like I had a perfect life. I had money, success, a tight knit group of friends, but there has always been something missing. I have never really had anyone to share it all with. I had dated a few guys, but nothing ever really stuck. Either they were trying to use me, acting like they were doing me some type of favor by being with me, or got bored and cheated on me. I had never been someones priority, even though I had always tried to make them mine. 

Music has always been my passion, but fame was never my dream. I dreamed of settling down somewhere, finding my once in a lifetime kind of love, starting a family, and I wanted a big one. My childhood had been so lonely, my life was filled with all the material things a person could ever want, but it lacked the warmth of a family. 

I wanted a house filled with laughter, and the sounds of little feet running through the hallways as they giggled and screamed. Nights spent cuddling up on the couch with my husband, watching movies, laughing about little things that happened throughout our day. I wanted the chaos, the messes, the love, the stability, and I wanted it more than anything.

When Stephen met MC I knew right away she was the one for him. He called me right after he left the pub that night and told me 

“Ellie I think I just met the woman I’m going to marry.” 

I was surprised, he had never really spoken about marriage before. Never seemed all that interested in settling down, but something happened that night that changed everything, and six months later he announced they were getting married only a month and a half later. I was on tour at the time, and absolutely devastated to miss the wedding.

I knew they had truly found that once in a lifetime kind of love. I was so happy for them both, but I would be lying if I didn’t feel just a little bit envious. Here he was not even looking for it, and he still managed to find it.

When Stephen told me they were expecting a baby I was thrilled for them, and then to be asked to be the God Mother was even more special. Stephen has always been like a brother to me, always loving, protective, and a true rock in my life. I was determined to be that for their little girl. 

I remember the facetime call when they asked me, and I asked who was going to be the God Father. MC got this mischievous smirk on her face, and look in her eye. 

“We are going to ask my best mate Bobby!”

Of course I had heard all about Bobby throughout the course of the last few years. MC and Stephen never had anything but wonderful things to say about the guy. 

“I’m so excited for you guys to finally meet! You’re going to absolutely love bobs!”

“I’m sure I will MC.”

“He’s also veeeeerrrry single!”

I let out a laugh. “Good to know.” 

***

I put the finishing touches on my makeup and slipped into my blue dress for the day. Making my way out of the guest bedroom to see how I could be of help. I knew today was going to be a hectic day for MC and Stephen. 

As I made my way out to the kitchen I ran into a frantic MC. Her hair was still in curlers, and she was wearing a robe, and half of her makeup was done. She was gently bouncing Olivia in her arms.

“Ellie! Thank goodness you’re ready! I completely forgot about the balloons! Luckily Bobby is going to pick them up on his way here, he should be here any minute, but now I have to go get ready, and the caterers are running late, it looks like it might rain, everything is just a mess!”

She was speaking a million miles an hour.

“MC calm down! Everything is going to be fine! Hand Olivia over, I will take care of her, you go finish getting yourself ready. I’m sure the caterers will be here any minute, and if it rains we have tents set up, and there is space in here. Don’t worry, today is going to be a beautiful day for you guys.”

She gave me a grateful look and handed Olivia over. I left her in the kitchen making my way back to Olivia’s nursery. I rocked her for a little bit, but she was wide eyed and clearly not tired at all. I got up and started walking around looking at the various pictures hung in her room. Some of her first sonograms, maternity pictures MC and Stephen had taken, and pictures of family and friends. I was leaning in to take a closer look at a group picture when the door swung open. I saw a man wearing a blue suit make his way into the room. He was clearly flustered as he tried to get an enormous bouquet of balloons through the door. I could hear him silently muttering to himself.

“Goodness MC how many balloons do we really need? She’s barely a month old!”

I couldn’t help but let out a small giggle. Watching him struggle was already quite a sight, but the quiet muttering really topped it all off. He whirled around clearly startled. His cheeks turning a subtle hint of pink at being caught. I smiled at him as he took me in. He had beautiful golden skin, with freckles that looked so perfectly placed, like someone had taken the time to hand place each one. He had the cutest dimple in his left cheek, but what really drew me in was his eyes. A perfect shade of caramel with just a hint of green. But I could see a softness and a familiar sadness in his eyes, something only a person familiar with the feeling of hiding pain would pick up on. He finally met my eyes.

“Why don’t you take a picture? It will last longer.”

I instantly regretted saying those words as the subtle pink of his cheeks was replaced with a burning red, and he began to rapid fire out apologies.

“Sorry… I… uh… MC told me to put the balloons in here… I didn’t know anyone was in here.”

I once again couldn’t help but laugh. The poor guy looked terrified, and was turning so violently red. I saw him visibly relax as I pulled myself back together.

“I was only teasing. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to scare you.”

I made my way over to him offering him my free hand.

“Hi, I’m Ellie. It’s nice to finally meet you, you must be the famous Bobby.”

He looked caught off guard by that, and looked unsure for a moment as to whether or not he should take my hand, but he quickly recovered taking my hand his cheeks pinking once more.

“Nice to meet you Ellie.” He said as he met my eyes. 

I couldn’t help but smile, he looked awfully cute when he was flustered, and he had been flustered since the moment he walked in the room. It was clear he wasn’t going to say anything to break the ice, so in my haste I said the first thing that came to my mind. 

“I was just looking at all the pictures Stephen and MC hung in here. There are quite a few of you. I must say you are even more handsome in person.”

I felt slightly embarrassed that was what I chose, but Bobby suddenly looked like he was short circuiting, I could practically see the gears turning in his head, his cheeks once again flaming with red, which made it all the more amusing. My cheeks turning slightly pink as well. Bobby opened his mouth to respond when Stephen suddenly entered the room. 

“Hey Ellie, are you ready to head out?” He paused noticing Bobby in the room as well. “Oh hey Bobby! I see you two met.” The smirk that played on his lips wasn’t missed. “Right… well I’m going to take Olivia and get her strapped into her pram. We are going to head out in about 5 minutes if you’re ready.” 

He made his way over and quickly grabbed Olivia out of my arms, throwing me a casual wink and a smirk that only I would have seen, and just as quickly as he entered he was gone. 

The air was thick with the sudden tension. I looked up into his eyes once more, pausing. It was strange looking at someone, meeting them for the first time, but also feeling your soul exhale with relief, like even though you are meeting this person for the first time, your soul says “finally. There you are.” Somehow even though you are strangers, it feels like you have known this person forever. I wondered if he maybe felt it too. 

“I better go get my shoes on.” I said as I made my way to the door. Bobby was standing near the doorway, and the closeness felt oddly intimate, causing us both to blush.

“Excuse me sorry.” 

I made my way back to the guest bedroom, finding Stephen waiting for me.

“Well well well…. Was that a little moment I just walked in on?”

“What? No.” My cheeks and neck suddenly feeling warm. ‘I… we… he came into the room and he didn’t know I was in there, so I startled him.”

Stephen narrowed his eyes at me crossing his arms.

“… right. You know I know you well enough to call bullshit.”

I shove him hoping to erase the smug look on his face.

“You are such an asshole sometimes.”

Stephen began fanning himself and picked up what I am assuming was supposed to be an imitation of me.

“Bobby you’re so hot. You are giving me fanny flutters!”

“You are the actual worst you know that right? Now get the hell out of my room.”

“All I’m saying is when I walked in you could cut the tension with a knife, and you were both blushing like a couple of school girls. Were you guys eye boning or something?”

An audible gasp escaped my lips. “STEPHEN MALCOLM ADDAIR!. First of all I was holding your child! Do you honestly think I would do something like that while holding an infant? Second I had literally just met the man like 60 seconds before you walked in. Lastly if you don’t leave my room this instant I will physically hurt you.”

He threw his hands up in mock surrender.

“Ok ok I’m sorry, I took it too far. All I wanted to say was Bobby is truly a great guy. You wont find anyone who is a better or more loyal friend, with a great heart. If you hypothetically were interested in him, I would just like to say I support it.”

“Well like I said I barely met the guy before you came in. I mean he is obviously attractive, but I didn’t really get the chance to chat with him.”

“Well he would be worth the effort to get to know him.”

And with that he finally made his exit out of my room. Leaving me flustered and a little embarrassed. 

***

The rest of the afternoon it honestly felt like Bobby was trying to avoid me. Every time I entered a room he exited. I would feel eyes on me, look up only to find him looking in a completely opposite direction, but I could also spot a slight blush up his neck. It also seemed like everyone I talked to only had glowing things to say about Bobby. 

“He’s a handsome lad isn’t he?”

MC’s aunt said when she caught me looking in his direction for the second time during our conversation. 

“What? Who?” I said as I craned my neck around the room, trying to pretend I hadn’t just been caught.

“Bobby is one of the good ones. No one really knows how no one has scooped him up yet.”

She gave me a knowing look and excused herself. 

When I saw him talking to a small group of his friends I finally decided to make contact. I quickly inserted myself into their little group standing right beside him. I could feel him stiffen ever so slightly. Was he uncomfortable? Did he want me to leave? He was honestly impossible for me to read. 

I introduced myself to the group. Priya and Chelsea were both very warm and welcoming. The tall brunette had this warm almost maternal vibe about her, while the petite blonde was incredibly bubbly and playful. I enjoyed being around them, and could tell they would be great friends.

Bobby barely spoke once I joined the group. When he finally did speak he quietly excused himself from the group, offering hugs all around until he finally reached me. He seemed to be mentally at war for a moment before pulling me into a hug as well. I hadn’t expected it, but it honestly felt so natural, and my whole body was filled with warmth. 

“It was very nice to meet you.”

I opened my mouth to respond but he was already making his exit. I watched him leave for a moment before I turned back to Priya and Chelsea to see them both exchanging a glance. 

“That was odd.” The bubbly blonde finally said.

“What was odd?” I replied.

“Nothing really I guess… it’s just… well I haven’t really seen Bobby even notice a girl in all the time I have known him… let alone get nervous to be around one.”

Priya gently nudged Chelsea in the side while plastering on a smile. 

“What? I haven’t! Have you?”

“Chelsea!”

“Sos I didn’t realize it was some secret. That was just odd Bobby behavior that’s all.”

Priya let out a puff of air in annoyance. “Chelsea would you be a lamb and get me a drink of the punch?”

“Of course babes! I’ll do you one better, I know MC has a bottle of prosecco somewhere. Be right back.” She gave us a cheeky wink and made her way towards the kitchen.

Priya gently linked her arm through mine, and we began walking further into the back yard. I looked at her confused.

“Ellie, Bobby has had a tough few years. He hasn’t really been around that much, and he definitely hasn’t been putting himself out there. I guess it was a little odd to see him seem so nervous around someone today. But it honestly gives me hope that maybe our old friend Bobby is finally pulling himself out of the dark cloud he has been living in.”

That explained the sadness I saw in his eyes. He was a damn good actor, 99.9% of people would be fooled by his act. But those of us who have fought our own way out of a dark cloud can always spot the ones still weathering the storm.

She stopped and turned to face me, giving me a genuine smile.

“Bobby has a lot of walls up right now, but I promise you if you work to peel back those walls it will be worth every single ounce of effort. He is a once in a lifetime kind of guy, he just might need a little help to remember that himself.”

My eyes shot up to meet hers once more. She pulled me into a warm hug.

“It was really nice to finally meet you Ellie. I hope to see you again soon.”

I stood there for a moment, trying to absorb everything Priya had just confided in me. Smiling to myself. “Once in a lifetime.”

***  
A short while later the party was beginning to clear out, so I made my way back into the house to help with the clean up. I helped Stephen and MC cover all the food and get it back in the fridge. MC looked at the clock.

“Oh it is time for the princess to take a little nap.”

She started making her way towards the nursery when she suddenly stopped turned on her heel with a grin.

“Ellie would you mind going to fetch Olivia from Bobby? I just have a few more things I need to finish up.”

She tried but failed to hide a very obvious wink towards Stephen. 

Stephen and I made confused eye contact as we both tried not to laugh.

“Uh yeah… No problem,” I said as I hopped up from the stool I was sitting on, and made my way towards her room.

As I approached the door I could hear the soft sound of singing. I stopped, leaning against the door frame when I saw Bobby rocking Olivia in her chair, singing her a soft little lullaby. I didn’t recognize the one he was singing, but I did notice he had a beautiful rich tone to his voice, it was slightly raspy, but full. 

In that moment it gave me a vision of exactly what I wanted my future to look like. I didn’t even necessarily mean with Bobby. I mean I barely knew him, but I knew I wanted moments just like this. My stomach filled with butterflies thinking of the prospect. I didn’t want him to catch me staring, but just as I was about to make my presence known he happened to look up.

“You have a beautiful singing voice.”

His face turned my favorite shade of red.

“Oh… erm thank you. Sorry I didn’t see you come in.”

“MC sent me to fetch Olivia so she could put her down for a nap. But it looks like you beat her to it. The party has pretty much cleared out now.”

“Oh… I didn’t realize I had been gone that long. Time flies when you are with the little princess.”

He stood up and made his way over to her crib giving her a little kiss on the forehead before delicately laying her down. It was such a beautiful and intimate moment, and the butterflies returned hammering through my chest like caged animals.

“I guess I should get going, I’m sure MC and Stephen are absolutely knackered. It’s been a long day.”

I stepped out of the door frame so he could exit, but at the same time I was filled with desperation for him to stay.

As he made his way out the front door I knew I had to try and strike up a conversation. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to him. I had so many questions I wanted answered, so many things I wanted to know about him.

“Your cupcakes were delicious! I probably ate 4 of them.” 

It was a lame attempt at starting the conversation, but luckily he took the bait.

“Oh thank you! Baking is my passion… It’s the only thing I have ever been good at.”

I looked at him, trying to gauge if he was just being humble, or if that was truly how he felt. It became obvious it was the latter. I sat down on the porch and motioned for him to join me. He hesitated for just a moment before obliging.

“I don’t think that is true. I just heard you sing, you are quite talented. I also see you are great at getting babies to sleep. I also know you are a great friend. That’s a skill, and not one everyone possesses. MC and Stephen gush about you constantly.”

His beautiful face flushed pink once more, and I decided to test the waters a bit.

“Looking at you I would never assume red is your color, but it really seems to suit you.”

“I look good in every color.” He shot a wink in my direction. 

“Is that so?” 

I raised a curious eyebrow at him. I liked seeing this confident side to Bobby, though to be fair I hadn’t seen a side I didn’t enjoy.

“Probably not, but to be honest I am just grateful to finally get a comprehensive sentence out of my mouth around you today.”

I let out a full belly laugh, and he joined in afterwards. The way his eyes crinkled when he laughed was possibly the cutest thing I had ever seen. 

I loved that he wasn’t ashamed to admit he was nervous. I gently placed a hand on his arm as I caught my breath. Being near him just made me feel so at ease. 

After that conversation flowed easily. I gratefully accepted any nugget he threw my way, I found him utterly fascinating, and the best part was he seemed to feel the same way about me. He maintained eye contact and was engaged in our conversation at every moment. I was so enraptured in our conversation, that when the porch lights clicked on at 10 PM I hadn’t even realized it was now dark outside. 

Bobby casually looked down at his watch, his eyebrows shooting up in surprise.

“Oh wow, I’m so sorry I didn’t realize how late it had gotten. Here I am boring you with my life story, and you probably had things to do, or wanted to visit with Stephen.”

“You weren’t boring me at all Bobby! You are actually really easy to talk to. I have really enjoyed getting to know you.” I paused for just a moment. “To be honest I was nervous to meet you.”

He was clearly surprised by my revelation.

“You were nervous to meet me? How is that possible?”

I took a moment to think about how I wanted to answer his question.

“MC and Stephen have talked about you so much, and always told me how amazing and wonderful you are. I guess you just sounded pretty perfect.”

I looked up into his eyes, they were scanning my face as if searching for any ounce of deception.

“I mean you cook, you’re funny, you’re a total gentleman, a good friend, then watching you rocking Olivia and singing to her… like ooof I just don’t actually understand how you are single.”

Bobby scowled for a moment, then began looking around the yard.

“I’m sorry I am just looking for the camera men… like surely this is a prank. Like I just don’t understand.”

I laughed once more “I’m serious! You are a total catch! You seem to be the only person in this world that doesn’t realize that. I asked Priya about you earlier, and she told me you are a little timid around dating, but that you were totally worth the effort. In fact everyone that I talked to today had nothing but a glowing review of you.”

“You asked about me?” I could see he was flattered from the smile that found it’s way to his lips. Showcasing that adorable dimple in his cheek.

“Honestly is it April fools? Like my brain absolutely does not compute what is happening right now. Like an absolute Goddess is sitting in front of me right now talking nonsense.”

It was my turn to be flattered, of course men had told me I was beautiful before, but to be compared to a Goddess?

“Genuine people are rare Bobby. I know that possibly better than anybody. I usually have my guard rails set up pretty high, but I have spent the last nearly 5 hours talking to you about things I have rarely spoken about with anyone. Even Stephen. The second you walked into that nursery I felt a spark.”

I met his eyes hoping and praying he felt the same way.

“Well at this rate we should probably just meet up again tomorrow for coffee or something. See if we can turn that spark into a forest fire.”

I could sense he phrased it in almost a joking manner, possibly to make it easy for me to turn him down, but that was never going to be an option for me. I knew Bobby was meant to be in my life one way or another, and I knew he was going to be in my life for a long time.

“Bobby… if I didn’t know any better I would think you were asking me out.” A smirk playing on my lips.

“What would you say if I said I was?” His eyes stayed trained on the ground, avoiding my gaze.

I dipped my head down so I could make eye contact with him.

“Good. Pick me up at 8.” and with that I hopped up from my spot on the porch and made my way to the door before he had a chance to back peddle. I turned around and blew him a little kiss “See you tomorrow Bobby.” and shut the door leaving him sitting there with his mouth agape, and a confused look on his face.

I leaned my head back against the door and took a deep breath, feeling satisfied and excited for tomorrow, letting out a gentle sigh when I made eye contact with Stephen. He was sat at the table sipping a cuppa. He gently raised his mug as if to say cheers. That same smug and self satisfied smirk etched across his face.

“Oh hello Ellie, thanks for joining us. I was worried you had run away.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh shut up! You have been exceptionally annoying today. You are worse than an older brother.”

“I am sorry that seeing you happy makes me happy. Sorry I annoyed you with my joy.”

“Your joy isn’t the problem, its that self righteous hubristic look on your face. Like you are some Venus flytrap that has ensnared me in his devious plan.”

Stephen rolled his eyes. 

“Ok smarty pants.” 

He got up from his seat and made his way over to me. 

“In all seriousness, it really is good to see a smile on your face.” 

He placed both of his hands on my shoulders looking me in the eye. 

“I love you El, you’re like a sister to me, and if anyone deserves to be happy it’s you. Life hasn’t always given you the best cards, but you have pulled yourself out of darkness, and you spread your light everywhere you go. I know Bobby will be better off by knowing you, and I am pretty sure you will be better off by knowing him, even if it is only a friendship.”

We shared a smile.

“Thank you, I love you too…” 

I pulled him in for a hug.

“Even when I want to punch you in the face.”

He pulled back and placed a light playful punch on my chin. Shaking his head.

“I’m going to head to bed now. Olivia still wakes up at least 3 times during the night, and the lack of beauty sleep is really starting to show through.”

“I didn’t want to say anything, but now that you brought it up, you aren’t wrong.”

“Now you are just being mean.” 

He turned to head towards his bedroom.

“Hey Stephen?” 

I bit my lip with nervous energy.

He turned back around 

“Yeah?”

“I think I just met the boy I’m going to marry.”

Stephens eyes went wide, as a beaming smile spread across both of our faces.

“I think you might be right.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for giving my fic a read! I would love to hear from you! Hope you are all staying healthy and happy! xo


	4. Begin again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby and Ellie have their first date. Song for this chapter is Begin Again by Taylor Swift. Hope you all enjoy this chapter! It was so fun to write!

*POV: Bobby:*

I woke up feeling a combination of nerves, curiosity, excitement, and terror. I was just barely starting to find my way back to my normal self, was I really willing to risk all of my progress? Willing to put myself out there? Willing to get hurt again? 

I still wasn’t sure I had all that much to offer anyone, but something about Ellie made me want to try, and that was something I hadn’t felt since meeting MC. I shook my head trying to ease some of my thoughts.

“Stop overthinking this, it’s one date. Worst case scenario it doesn’t go well, and we part ways without any hard feelings. Plus I never have to see her again if I don’t want to.”

But to be honest I wasn’t afraid it wasn’t going to go well… I was worried it would. Afraid that I could potentially really like her, scared to get close to her, and terrified to let her get close to me. 

I nervously raked my hand through my dreads, still wet from the shower. Made my way over to the closet and looked through my outfit choices. I browsed through all of my old clothes, I forgot how much I used to love color. My wardrobe for the last 2 years had turned into a lot of black. I picked one of my old favorite shirts, and a pair of jeans. Gave myself a final once over and headed out to my car.

Ellie hadn’t given me her number, and part of me wondered if she did that on purpose so I wouldn’t be able to back out. She had admitted to asking around about me at the party the night before… so maybe she knew if I was given the opportunity to cancel I would.

As I approached the house, I began to panic a bit. I parked on the side of the road in front of MC and Stephens home, turned off the car, and laid my head back against the headrest and closed my eyes. Willing the creeping anxiety to subside. I had been sitting there for a few minutes when I heard a soft tap on my window. I opened my eyes to see Stephen looking at me through the window. I quickly made my way out of the car.

“Hey mate… whatcha doing in the car?” 

Stephen looked at me quizzically.

“Oh… erm… I was just taking a minute to myself… trying to give myself a pep talk.” My cheeks were burning with the embarrassment of being caught. 

Stephen just smiled at me, softening his expression. “Nervous?”

“A little… I uh… well its been a while… I mean since my last date… Not that this is a date… to be honest I’m not really sure what it is. Or what is happening.”

My hands awkwardly fidgeted in front of me, as he let out a hearty chuckle.

“I think you are over thinking this Bobs. Just take a deep breath.”

He took a couple of deep breaths with me.

“There see? Now you don’t look like you are about to walk into a hostage situation.”

We both laughed at that.

“Thanks man, I was panicking there for a minute. I am really out of practice with the ladies.”

“You have nothing to worry about with Ellie, she is a giant softie.”

He playfully wrapped an arm around my shoulder pulling me into a bit of a head lock.

“Don’t worry mate, Ellie doesn’t bite… unless you are into that kind of thing, then maybe she would. But I sincerely don’t want to know about that you sicko.”

“Good Lord Stephen.” I said as I escaped his grip.

“Come on, you don’t want to be late.”

I followed him towards the front door and sheepishly entered the house behind him.

“Look who I found outside!”

Ellie and MC were sitting at opposite sides of the couch, chatting as we walked in. They both looked up with a smile.

Ellie looked absolutely stunning. She had on a pastel blue crop top that hung off her shoulders, jeans, and white sneakers. Her long icy hair was pulled back into a ponytail with just a few wavy strands left out to perfectly frame her face. 

She quickly hopped up from the couch and made her way over to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck hugging me tightly, like it was the most natural thing she had ever done. I hesitated for just a moment before my arms found their way around her waist reciprocating the hug.

“You look great Bobby, you smell really good too.” She said as she pulled back. Smiling at me.

I don’t know if I will ever get used to her complimenting me. She was so forthcoming with everything, and it wasn’t something I was really accustomed to in general, let alone from someone as beautiful as her. 

“Oh erm… thank you… you look… amazing. Wow.”

Stephen and MC exchanged a glance, both smiling like idiots.

“Well should we get going?” she looked up giving me that dazzling smile of hers.

“Yeah of course.”

We waved our goodbyes, and Ellie gently linked her arm through mine as we walked out to my car. My cheeks and neck were burning. I don’t know what it was about her that just made me lose my cool. I may as well just have a permanent blush on my face when I am around her. I had never had this problem in my entire life. Maybe it was just the fact that I hadn’t given a girl the time of day in years.

I opened the car door for her, and she gave me a cheesy curtsy.

“Why thank you my good sir.”

The car ride to the coffee shop flew by, there were no awkward pauses. As much as Ellie made me feel extremely nervous and on edge, she also very comfortable to be around. She would smile at me, chatting away about anything at all, and my soul felt at peace. I don’t really know how to explain the sensation, it’s something that I have never felt before, and to be honest it scares the hell out of me. In my experience I have a pretty short shelf life, my shine dulls quickly, and then they are off to the next.

We ordered our drinks and breakfast, then made our way to a little table on the sidewalk just outside of the shop, small talking and sipping our drinks. We had a beautiful view of the River Clyde, and a beautiful park across the street. Ellie sat across from me keeping eye contact the entire time. It was equal parts flattering and unsettling. I for the life of me couldn’t figure out what she could possibly find so interesting about me. She was the type of girl who could literally have the pick of any man, yet she was willingly here with me, and not only that but seemed excited about it. 

I was ripped out of my inner dialogue by her gently placing her hand on top of mine. Her eyes inquisitive, her lips spread in a reassuring smile. She could clearly tell I was in my own head, but instead of being annoyed she gently rubbed her thumb across the top of my hand trying to sooth me. I instantly felt at peace, such a simple action had such a drastic impact. I looked up from our joined hands to meet her eyes once more. She gave me another smile as she removed her hand from mine.

“I’m sorry I...”

“No don’t apologize Bobby. You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“I am just really out of practice… it’s been a long time since my last… date?”

I phrased it as a question because I honestly wasn’t sure if she considered this a date, or if she was looking for friendship, or just a way to blow a morning.

“I think this date is going amazing.”

I couldn’t stop the smile that spread across my face as I looked up to make eye contact once more.

“So this was a date then?”

“What do you mean was? Tired of me already?”

She looked hurt as her eyebrows knit together. Panic rose in my chest. 

“Absolutely not! I sorry I didn’t mean to make you feel like that. I just… well our drinks are gone, and I didn’t know if you wanted to.”

She waved her hand casually and threw a wink my way. Instantly calming my nerves. She’s teasing me.

“Relax pretty boy, I was just kidding, I should stop teasing you like that, but that adorable little flustered face you make is just too tempting.”

Mischief glinted in her eyes as she chuckled. She was so gorgeous, I felt completely lost for words. Heat rising up my neck.

“Pretty boy?” I let out scoffing laugh. “That’s a new one. I don’t think anyone has ever called me that before.”

“I think you would be surprised.”

Comfortable silence fell across the table as I searched her eyes for insincerity. She looked like she was thinking before a look of elation spread across her face.

“Want to take a walk along the river? I have always loved the water, and it is a beautiful walk.”

A genuine smile spread across my lips. She wants to spend more time with me?

“Lead the way.”

***

We spent the rest of the morning strolling along the river, she was right it was a beautiful walk. I had walked that trail several times, but I had to admit this was the most I had ever enjoyed it. We walked slowly, enjoying each others company.

“So you work in Hospital catering? Do you enjoy it?”

“Yeah I really do, I mean I get to be in a kitchen, and I love interacting with the patients.”

I stopped to look in her eyes.

“Even though some of the older ladies can get quite... handsy.” 

I threw her a wink and a smirk. A cackle escaped her beautiful full lips.

“Can’t say I blame them.” 

She returned the wink. My word she knows how to make me feel like I am on fire. I couldn’t fight the smirk that made its way to my lips.

“So is it something you see yourself doing permanently?”

“Uh I don’t know, I mean I guess.”

I shrugged my shoulders in a nonchalant manner. She stopped walking and crossed her arms across her torso, looking at me with her inquisitive eyes.

“If you could do anything in the world, what would it be?”

I thought for a moment, wondering if I was really about to share my dream with someone I barely knew. A dream I hadn’t dared to admit out loud to anyone, because it was so UN-attainable. I looked up to see her smiling sweetly waiting for an answer, and I don’t know why but I knew I could trust her. Something about her made me feel safe.

“Anything?”

She narrowed her eyes, leaning in close, daring me to speak.

“Anything!”

I let out a puff of air, and raked my hand through my dreads. 

“I would open up my own bakery right here in town. I would have my very own creations, a brunch buffet on the weekends! I would have live music throughout the day, and maybe karaoke or open mic in the evenings. I would create one of a kind wedding cakes, and perfect little cupcakes for tea parties.”

My eyes shot to the floor, afraid to make eye contact. I knew it was a far fetched idea. Any ounce of safety I previously felt flew out the window, and I suddenly felt very vulnerable. She took a step forward gently placing her hand on my forearm.

“That sounds incredible Bobby.”

“Yeah… well, it’s never going to happen, but it is nice to think about.”

“How can you be sure it will never happen?”

“I mean opening up a business is risky, the food industry being one of the toughest industries to break into. Also for that you need things like investors, and who is going to want to invest in some washed up reality TV contestant who has no business experience?”

Her brows knit together in frustration as she let out a little huff.

“First of all don’t call yourself washed up. You have amazing talent, and you are a dreamer. I admire that about you. Second, it is risky, but you clearly have passion and the drive.”

She crossed her arms across her chest once more, a smile creeping up on her lips.

“I think you would be surprised how many people believe in you Bobby. You sell yourself short. I have connections with people who I am sure would be willing to work with you, or discuss the possibilities and point you in the right direction. If this is something you really want.”

I was shocked. Not only was she not laughing in my face, but now she wants to help me? My mouth hung open for a moment trying to come up with the right words to convey my gratitude.

“Wow… I don’t really know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything, just think about it.” 

She offered me a smile, which I gratefully returned.

“Thank you Ellie, I will.”

***

We finally made it back to the park, I could see and smell various food trucks. My stomach let out a little growl. I looked down at my watch. 2PM.

“Man I am starving. Sorry I didn’t even realize we had been walking that long!”

“I didn’t either, this afternoon really flew by. Should we grab something to eat? My treat!” 

Her eyes lit up with childlike wonder as she took in the various food carts. Not only does she want to continue spending time with me, but now she wants to buy me lunch? 

“Oh no no! My treat I insist!”

“You paid for breakfast this morning. My turn.”

“A gentleman always pays.”

“And a gentlewoman never expects a gentleman to always pay. Come on Bobby! Let me spoil you!”

We both stared each other down. Waiting for the other to concede. The look on her face was sheer determination.

“You aren’t going to give this up are you?”

“Pretty and smart.” She threw a devilish smirk my way.

I shook my head trying to fight the smile that was desperately trying to make its way onto my lips, my tongue grazing the outside of my teeth, rolling my eyes. 

“Fine I will let you pay, but you have to choose what we eat.”

A defiant smile danced across her face.

“No problem.” 

She took off towards the trucks, as I followed behind her. She was going to be trouble, I could feel it in my bones, but I was also starting to not care.

***

Ellie picked out a taco truck, and ordered just about everything off the menu. We both had our arms full as we made our way over to a nearby bench. 

“So I told you my dream, what about you? If you could do anything in the world would it be music?”

She held up her finger signaling that she needed a moment to answer. She had just taken the biggest bite out of a taco I had ever seen. She looked like an adorable little chipmunk with her cheeks full. It brought a smile to my face. 

“Sorry it is impossible to look ladylike when eating tacos… so I figured I wouldn’t even bother.”

We both shared a laugh.

“No worries.”

“Music has always been a part of my life, and always will be, but fame? Going on tour for months every year? It isn’t really something I see myself doing long term.”

She looked vulnerable for a moment before speaking again.

“I want to settle down. I have always dreamed of having a house filled with a big family, and a couple of dogs. I could write music from anywhere, so yeah… music yes. Current occupation no.”

I stared at her for a moment unsure of what to say. Surely Ellie is not real, she was too perfect. I couldn’t help but imagine that kind of life for myself. An image I thought I had erased from my mind forever, yet with one sentence from her was brought back to the forefront of my mind. 

“Sorry that was probably really weird to say on a first date.”

“No don’t apologize, I… think that’s an awesome dream.”

Our eyes met and both of our cheeks flushed with pink. She looked away clearly embarrassed. 

“I’m serious. I always dreamed of having a big family as well.”

“Hopefully someday we both will.”

She looked up at me and smiled, my heart was racing. What did she mean by we? Did she mean we like together? We separately? Surely she didn’t mean we together. Earlier she had pointed out that I was a dreamer, but even I wasn’t that far gone to assume someone like her would want that with someone like me. She looked worried for a brief second before swiftly moving the conversation along. 

“So I have to know, and this is important.”

I held my breath afraid she was getting ready to grill me.

“Favorite Disney movie. GO.”

I threw my head back laughing. My lungs filling with air and relief. 

“That is important?”

She looked at me in mock horror. 

“Yes Bobby… it is important. Imagine if your answer was like Planes, or Camp Rock 2?”

I placed a hand on my chest and gave an audible gasp.

“Ellie! I can’t believe you would disrespect Shane Gray like that.”

She playfully slapped my arm laughing. 

“Answer the question!”

I took my chin between my thumb and pointer finger stroking my invisible beard.

“Aladdin. I always pictured myself as a lovable troublemaker. I also always wanted a magic carpet.”

“Lovable trouble maker huh?”

She looked intrigued as she raised an eyebrow at me.

“Guess I better keep an eye on you.”

The flirty tone in her voice made me feel bold for just a moment.

“Oh are we acting like you didn’t have your eyes on me all day yesterday?”

Her cheeks flushed, and it was a welcome change since she had made me blush constantly since I set eyes on her. But she recovered quickly and turned the tables on me just as fast.

“Must have had your eyes on me as well if you noticed.”

Triumphant is the only way I could describe the look on her face. She was quick like a cat on her feet, always ready with a comeback, and I would be lying if I said I didn’t love every second of it. There are plenty of pretty girls in this world, but a girl that can keep up with and throw out banter? I bit my bottom lip and smiled just thinking about it. I quickly pulled myself back to reality. I am not supposed to think like that, thinking like that is dangerous. Thinking like that is how you get in trouble. 

“Besides… maybe you should try being less handsome or something if you don’t want girls to stare at you.”

I rolled my eyes assuming she was just trying to make me blush again, but she just looked up at me beneath her long dark lashes. I swallowed hard, clearing my throat.

“So… what about you? What is your favorite Disney movie?”

“Aladdin is an excellent choice, however I am going to have to go with Hercules. The soundtrack on that movie is absolute class, and Meg is everything.”

“I accept your answer.”

“Thank you Prince A Boo Boo.”

Both of us burst into laughter. 

We continued to eat our lunch and chat until we noticed the sun beginning to set. How was it already 7? It felt like I had just picked her up. 

“Oh wow, how is it already dinner time? Today has absolutely flown by!”

“It really has.”

“Are you hungry?”

“Not really, but I did pretty much eat my body weight in tacos and burritos.”

We both shared a laugh and a smile. I didn’t want today to be over, but I also didn’t want her to feel like I was holding her hostage on this date.

“What about you? Are you hungry?”

She laughed again, that beautiful melodic laugh.

“No… but I could go for some dessert…”

I was relieved she wasn’t itching to leave.

“What sounds good?”

Her face lit up once again.

“I picked lunch, so it looks like it is your turn. Plus you are the sweets expert here.”

She said as she nudged me in the side.

“Uh yeah sure. I know a place.”

We both stood up from the bench she hesitated a moment but then took my arm once more as we made our way back to my car. I couldn’t hide the smile that forced its way onto my face. 

***

We made our way into a yogurt shop.

“Frozen yogurt? I assumed you would be taking me to get pastries mr baker man.”

“I figured after trying my cupcakes everything would pale in comparison.”

I gave her a cheeky smile, but then felt insecure that maybe she didn’t want to eat here.

“Of course if you don’t like it, or would rather have a pastry we can go somewhere else no problem!”

“Now now! I never said I didn’t like yogurt, I was just surprised that is all. I will never turn down any form of sweets.”

“Good to know. Fun fact, this was actually where I got my first job.”

She looked up at me with that dazzling smile of hers making my heart skip a beat.

“Baby Bobby used to work here? In this very shop?”

She excitedly looked around, taking in the scenery.

“Well I mean I was 16, not a baby. But I did wear a lot of ripped jeans and guyliner back then. You know wounded artist and all.”

She closed her eyes smiling.

“MMMM, Much to think about.”

I playfully nudged her side pulling her back to reality. 

“Well I will let the expert order then, since you know what is best!”

“You got it.”

We made our way up to the counter and ordered our dessert before Ellie led us to a corner booth. 

“So… how long are you in town for?”

I didn’t want to sound too eager, but I was hoping she was going to be in town for at least a few days. I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to her just yet.

“Oh I thought Stephen and Ellie would have told you.”

I shook my head in confusion.

“I always spend my free Summers in Glasgow. I have since I was a child. I just finished up on tour, and you already know I can write music anywhere. So yeah… I am actually going apartment hunting on Wednesday.”

My whole body relaxed, I would be lying if I said it didn’t excite me that she would be staying. 

“No way, that’s awesome.”

I was beaming, and she was beaming right back.

“Yeah I am really excited. I have always enjoyed my summers here. Every year was better than the last… I have a feeling that is going to hold true this year as well.”

She gave me a look I couldn’t quite pin down, but it made me feel excited? Free? Hopeful? But my mind made me tense again. An entire summer to let myself get close to her, to get attached to her… Shit.

***

When we were finally kicked out of the shop, it was pitch black outside. The only lights coming from the moon, and the street lights. 

“Well it is late… I guess I should get you home.”

“I guess so.”

We both sounded disappointed. She turned towards the car and then stopped.

“Everything alright?”

“Rain.” She smiled.

“What?”

Suddenly it was raining, a light sprinkle quickly turned into a torrential downpour. We were standing under the awning, protected from the onslaught of water.

“Shit! Let’s get you to the car!”

She just laughed.

“Scared of a little rain pretty boy?”

“I would hardly call this a little rain!”

I pointed towards the sheets of rain coming down. She took a step back on the sidewalk just past the reach of our protective cover. She was drenched instantly. She turned her face up towards the sky. She seemed so at peace, laughing while to me it looked like she was voluntarily water boarding herself. A shiver went down my spine.

“Besides I am more of a sunshine kind of guy.”

I scrunched my nose up to show my distaste.

“Hate to be the one to break this to you, but I think you chose the wrong place to live if you are all about that sunshine.”

She sent me that teasing smirk once more, and made her way further into the street jumping into a puddle. The smile on her face was so innocent and pure, it made my heart smile. She exuded pure joy.

“Are you going to join me?”

“No way.”

“Awe you are scared of the rain!”

“I’m not scared, I just don’t enjoy it.”

“Well have you ever tried?”

“What do you mean?”

“When is the last time you jumped in a puddle?”

“I don’t know?”

“Come on! Give it a try! What do you have to lose? Worst case scenario you hate it, and we get in the car and drive away.”

“If I jump in a puddle you will get in the car and we can go?”

“Just one little puddle. So easy.”

She gave me her best siren song voice. Seducing me out from under my protection. Beckoning me closer with her finger. I am ashamed to admit just how enticing the sight before me was, but as I stepped out from beneath my protective covering I was suddenly cold and wet.

“This is the worst.”

“It is just water Bobby, I hardly think you will melt!”

She batted her eyelashes at me, they were slick with rain drops. She somehow managed to look every bit as beautiful even soaking wet with her hair slicked down on her face. 

“Come on! If you can’t find joy the storm, how will you ever fully appreciate the sunshine?”

I had a feeling she wasn’t just talking about rain.

“Now jump!”

I rolled my eyes but obliged. Jumping off the curb into a giant puddle of water. A satisfying slash ricocheting from beneath my feet.

“Ok that was kind of fun. I will give you that.”

She smiled up at me, that mischievous glint in her eyes once more as she reached down and splashed me.

“You did not!”

I stood there soaked to the bone and shocked. 

“Oh you are asking for it!”

“Bring it on big boy!”

She reached down and splashed me again. Giggling as she ran away.

“You better run!”

I said as I instantly took off after her. We took turns splashing each other, she was quick on her literal feet as she was with her wit. We were both laughing like idiots as we ran through the abandoned streets.

“Can’t keep up?”

She said as she dodged me again

“Should have played in the rain more when you were a kid.”

She reached down splashing me with more force than any of the others. 

“That is it! I am going to get you back for that one!”

“Gonna have to catch me first slow poke!”

She took off running again, but little did she know I am a runner myself. I caught up with her wrapping my arms around her waist to stop her from getting away again. She squealed as I picked her up off the ground. 

“Not so smug now are we?”

She wiggled in vain trying to release herself as I held her from behind. Laughing hysterically.

“Put me down!”

“Not until you have paid for your insolence!

I dug my fingers into her sides searching for her sensitive spots. She let out another squeal. Suddenly desperate to get out of my grip, managing to flip around in my arms so we were suddenly face to face. I continued to tickle her until I realized how close we were to each other. The rain was finally letting up and becoming a slight drizzle. 

We stood there face to face for a moment as we caught our breath. The air crackling with tension as we looked into each others eyes. My heart was racing, but not from the physical exertion. Could she feel that? Her eyes flicked from my eyes down to my lips for just the briefest moment, causing me to back away suddenly releasing her from my grasp, and taking a step back. I was scared.

“Dance with me.”

She said with a grin on her face.

“Dance with you?”

“Haven’t you ever wanted to dance in the rain?”

“Not really, up until a few minutes ago I hadn’t ever thought about playing in the rain either though.”

“Come on! I promise it will be fun! You need to live a little.”

“Is that right?”

I looked at her with the smile that I have hardly been able to wipe off my face for the past 36 hours since I met her. 

“What kind of dance were you thinking?” 

I began acting out dances, trying to dissipate whatever lingering tension was left through humor.

“Merengue?” I moved my hips from side to side.

“Interpretive?” 

“The chicken dance?”

She let out a cackle as I began flapping my wings. Throwing her head back and clutching her sides.

“I was thinking just a slow dance, but you do whatever feels right to you in the moment.”

“A slow dance in the rain huh? Who do I look like to you? Ryan Gosling?”

She smiled up at me.

“No… not that I would complain.” She winked. “But you look like a boy who would do just about anything to put a smile on my face.”

Her eyes were pleading with me, and against my better judgment I replied.

“You got me there.”

We both laughed as she took a step closer to me, wrapping her arms around my neck.

“Middle school rules of course. Don’t get any ideas.”

I laughed as I placed my hands on her hips and clunkily stepped side to side off whatever beat she was trying to step to. Doing my best to imitate every middle school boy who had no idea what he was doing.

“If you insist.”

She let out another laugh throwing her head back. Hitting me on the arm to get me to stop.

We moved in rhythm for a minute, swaying from side to side. She told me her first experience at a middle school dance. The boy who asked her to dance brought a towel because he anticipated sweating so much. Turned out he had been correct. We laughed at her memory, and I looked in her eyes. We just smiled for a moment in comfortable silence. 

“Alright, you have been an amazing sport. I know playing in the rain may not have been your favorite activity of the day, but I am so glad you humored me because I loved every second.”

She said as she slid her hands from behind my neck. Maintaining that eye contact that we couldn’t seem to break all day. She was wrong, I had loved every second of it as well, in fact it may have been my favorite part of the day. Playing in the rain may just be my new favorite activity, at least as long as Ellie is there to challenge me.

“Who would have guessed it wasn’t that bad?”

I noticed her shiver.

“You must be freezing. Come on, I should have a jacket in my car.”

She nodded and followed me to the car, I reached in pulling out my favorite bomber jacket and delicately wrapped it around her shoulders.

“Thank you.”

“Of course, now get in I can blast the heat.”

I opened the car door for her, closing it behind her as she got herself situated in the seat. 

“I guess I didn’t think about the fact that we would get your car soaking wet. Sorry!”

I laughed a little.

“A wise woman once told me it is just water, I hardly think it will melt.”

We both let out a laugh.

“Ah very wise!”

I put the car in gear and we made our way back to MC and Stephen’s home.

***

When we pulled into the driveway she turned to me.

“I had the best day today Bobby, thank you.”

“I had a lot of fun too Ellie, let me walk you to the door.”

She smiled at that.

“Of course.”

I made my way around the car opening the door for her again. Offering her my hand to help her out. She hesitated for just a moment before taking my hand.

“Thank you, you are a true gentleman, a rare breed.”

I felt the familiar blush creep up to my cheeks.

“You deserve the best.”

We made our way towards the front door. Stopping beneath the threshold. 

“Ellie, I...”

“Bobby, I...”

We said in unison.

“Sorry what were you going to say?” I asked.

“Oh no you go first.”

“I was wondering if I could get your number.”

She let out a full belly laugh before slapping her hand over her mouth realizing how late it was.

“I forgot I didn’t give it to you last night! Hand over your phone.”

I pulled it out of my soaked pants pocket.

“Good thing it is waterproof!”

She put her number in my phone tapping away at the keys. Handing it back to me with a smile.

I sent her a quick text so she would have my number.

“I was wondering. I know it is late notice, and you are probably busy. But would you maybe want to go apartment hunting with me on Wednesday? It’s ok if you can’t, or don’t want to. I know it isn’t like some exciting thing. I just thought since you know the area...”

This was the first time I had seen her not confident, maybe even rattled. I decided to put her out of her misery.

“Ellie stop rambling, I would love to go with you. What time?”

“Really?”

Her eyes lit up with excitement, her perfect teeth making an appearance.

“Of course! Picking the right apartment is crucial to your experience.”

“Ok! I am meeting with the Realtor at 4. Does that work?”

“Yeah that is perfect, my shift ends at 2 so I will have plenty of time to shower and change my clothes.”

She bit her bottom lip and looked up to meet my eyes once more. Why did she have to look at me like that? I slid my hands into my pockets and rocked back and forth. 

“Well erm… I guess I will see you Wednesday Ellie.”

“Great! It’s a date!” Her eyes went wide. “I mean I…”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at this role reversal. No smart comeback this time. I could see her mind spinning trying to come up with some way to back pedal her way out of this.

“It’s a date.”

I turned to walk away, but she grabbed my arm.

“Wait Bobby.”

I spun back around. 

“Your jacket.”

She said as she slid it off her shoulders, handing it over to me.

“Oh right… thanks.”

She smiled up at me as I took it from her hand, and pulled me in for a hug. 

“Goodnight.”

“Goodnight Ellie.”

She placed a quick kiss on my cheek before whirling around and entering the house, giving me a small wave as she shut the door. I stood there in complete shock, my hand instinctively shooting up to the spot her lips had just been. I felt like my face was on fire, and I was grateful she wasn’t here to see me short circuit on the doorstep.

I made my way back to my car, once again leaning my head back against the head rest, closing my eyes. My head and my heart completely at war. My heart was still beating a million miles a minute, and I was feeling hopeful, excited, HAPPY. But my head was telling me to run away from this situation as fast as I could. Last time I had these feelings it didn’t end so well for me, and I was still recovering from the last blow. It was only a matter of time before the other shoe dropped, but somehow for the first time in a long time I found someone who I was hoping was maybe going to be worth the risk.

“I am so screwed.” I said with a smile on my face.


	5. Better Run

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning this chapter contains someone experiencing a panic attack. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter, there are two songs for this chapter as this chapter is told from both Bobby and Ellie's perspective.
> 
> Song for Ellie: Lonely Eyes by Lauv.  
> Song for Bobby: Better run by Nasty Cherry.

*POV Ellie*

It’s been just over a month since I made the move to Glasgow. Bobby had helped me with my apartment hunt, and moving me in, but I knew he was trying to keep me at arms length. Though we saw each other quite often, I could feel him holding back. I could tell he felt something for me, but I could also see the fear in his eyes every time we were close enough to have an intimate moment. I remember the night in the rain being so sure he was going to kiss me, but then I saw the terror in his eyes as he released me and took a step back. I knew I had to tread carefully with him. Something I was more than ready and willing to do. I didn’t mind waiting and doing things on his terms. 

I was slowly piecing together why he was so desperate to maintain distance. I knew someone he trusted must have hurt him, and that pain was unforgiving. He always seemed surprised I was still around, and it was apparent that that boy had scars, some still fresh and trying to heal. I wanted to help heal those scars more than anything, but for now I just had to be patient while he learned to trust me. As someone who has struggled to trust in the past I knew how scary it could be to let someone in, and I was willing to wait. As long as it took.

***

I made my way into Stephen and MC’s home, arms full of groceries. I made a point to stop and pick up essentials every time I went over. They were struggling to keep on top of everything between work, and a new baby and I was always happy to help.

“Stephen? MC? Hello? I brought treats!”

I was surprised when Bobby made his way around the corner from the kitchen.

“Here let me help you with that!”

He scurried over to help relieve my load, his hands ever so slightly grazing mine. I offered him a smile, trying not to look too excited to see him, but he was clearly also struggling to conceal his excitement at seeing me as his Caramel eyes softened and crinkled with his smile. 

“Thank you Bobby, where are Stephen and MC?”

“Stephen ran out to grab diapers, he should be back any minute, and MC is just putting Olivia down for a nap.”

“Oh no! Whoops, guess I shouldn’t have yelled.”

We both let out a little laugh, and made our way into the kitchen to put the groceries away.

“I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight.” I said as I looked up to see Bobby staring at me as I reached up to put something away in the top cupboard. His cheeks turned ever so slightly pink as I caught him staring. 

“MC asked me to come, but she is being super cryptic about it.”

I looked up in shock.

“She was super weird with me about it too! This feels like a trap! Maybe we should run while we have the chance!”

We both shrugged laughing, as I moved across the room to put the milk into the fridge, just as MC made her way around the corner.

“You’re both here! Perfect! I have exciting news!”

She was practically exploding with enthusiasm. Bobby and I exchanged a confused glance.

“Spill lass, we are both waiting on the edge of our seat.”

“Stephen’s parents are coming over tonight to watch Olivia, so we are going out!”

Bobby and I exchanged another glance. This time silently agreeing we should have ran when we had the chance. We clearly didn’t give MC the reaction she was expecting as she let out a little huff putting her hands on her hips.

“Come on! I haven’t been out since the baby got here, and I am dying for a night out! I need to go get my drink and my dance on and Stephen and I both thought it would be fun to go out together! We have been dying for a night out with friends!”

Bobby absentmindedly rubbed the back of his neck. Suddenly looking a bit uncomfortable.

“Oh erm… wouldn’t you rather spend time alone? Like a date?”

“This is a date Bobby! It’s a double date!” She smiled sweetly at him as he awkwardly shuffled from foot to foot.

I couldn’t help the smirk that formed on my lips, watching Bobby get put on the spot. I couldn’t tell if MC assumed we were dating, or if she was trying to force his hand, but it was entertaining all the same.

“How do you know we don’t already have plans?” I said as I shot Bobby a knowing look. Hoping he would catch on. As much as I would love to go out with him tonight, I wanted it to be on his terms and not forced. His eyes lit up with understanding almost immediately.

“Yeah, MC! Ellie and I already had plans.”

MC’s eyes narrowed and her face scrunched up.

“Neither of you mentioned that when I asked you to come over earlier.” She now folded her arms, clearly calling our bluff. “But no matter, you can change them! Please! I NEED this.”

She really knew how to play a crowd, her puppy eyes staring us down. 

I looked up at Bobby and gave him a halfhearted shrug. He rolled his eyes and threw his arms up in the air.

“Fine. But I get to choose where we go. I am not going to O’Connor’s again. That place sucks. They overcharge for everything, its real homebrew shite. We are going to Sloan’s.”

MC squealed with excitement and clapped her hands. Running over to me and hugging me tightly.

“Come on Ellie! We gotta go get ready together!”

“MC I didn’t bring any clothes to go out to a pub or clubbing in.”

She waved a dismissive hand at me.

“You can borrow something of mine! Come on, I miss getting ready with my girls!”

Just then Stephen walked in the front door.

“Babe they are coming! You said they wouldn’t want to, but it looks like you owe me a massage later.”

She threw him a cheeky wink as he walked over wrapping MC in his arms, gently bending down to place a kiss on her lips.

“That’s great babe, you and I both know you would have gotten that massage either way.”

He reached down and gave MC’s ass a little pinch. Bobby and I both winced uncomfortably. Yuck. There is nothing worse than going out with an established couple when you are in the awkward early stages of a relationship. But add in that it is your cousin and it makes everything worse. The last thing I wanted to watch was Stephen get his bump and grind on. I let out a shudder.

“OK! Lets get ready! Bobby meet us at Sloan’s at 8!”

“Yeah yeah. See you in a few hours.” He said as he made his way towards the door. His feet dragging a bit, clearly not excited.

“Come on Ellie! Let’s hit the showers! I am going to need every second of these next 2 hours. I’m going to need to wax from head to toe.”

I looked up at Stephen, pleading with him to save me. He just laughed as he stuffed a handful of Almonds in his mouth. Prick.

***

Once MC got me alone she wasted no time putting me on the spot.

“So… how are things going with you two?” 

She gave me an inquisitive look as she lifted her leg up onto the chair rubbing lotion all over the newly waxed area. 

“I mean we are friends.” I offered her a little shrug.

“Friends for now… I see the way you two look at each other. You aren’t fooling me.” She smirked up at me wiggling her eyebrows suggestively at me. I let out a little laugh, but it wasn’t enough to hide the blush that made its way up my cheeks.

“I mean I obviously like him, but I am not trying to rush anything. Bobby is special, so I am more than willing to take things at his speed.”

She smiled up at me.

“He is special, and I am really glad to see him at least giving you a chance. I haven’t seen him show genuine interest in anyone in all the time I have known him. He always keeps his cards so close to his chest… it’s always been hard for me to read him, and it feels like it only gets harder as time goes on. I mean he is my best friend in the world, but sometimes I honestly don’t know what goes through that head of his.”

She let out a puff of frustration. Running her hands through her hair. Interesting… I thought to myself. MC is his best friend, but she doesn’t even know what is going on with him. How is that possible? 

“He just bottles everything up all the time, he won’t ever tell you how he feels. I know he has been struggling, but he won’t ever confide in me. I know our relationship has changed with me being married and having a baby now, but I just wish he would confide in someone. Even if it isn’t me.”

She looked sad for a moment.

“I just want to see him happy and settled. Bobby has so much to offer, and he is going to make someone really happy someday.” She smirked and looked up at me through her lashes. “Who knows, maybe it will be you.”

I could feel the flush returning to my cheeks. 

“Yeah maybe. 

“My advice would be if you want him, let him know. Hints wont get through to him, he needs something more concrete. For whatever reason he keeps that beautiful heart of his very guarded, I think he just needs someone to show him they are worth the risk, and if anyone would be worth the risk I’m sure it would be you Ellie. I think you could be exactly what he needs.” She offered me another smile. “That being said, if you aren’t serious about him cut him loose now. Please. I can’t stand to watch him dissolve into a ghost in front of me again.” The pain in her eyes was evident. 

“Thank you, I promise I would never string anyone along. Especially not someone as wonderful as Bobby. I just don’t want to scare him you know. But you are right, maybe I need to give him more concrete proof I am ready to take things to the next level with him.”

“Ooooh color me intrigued! Next level eh?”

I let out a laugh as I put the finishing touches on my winged eye liner.

“We haven’t even kissed yet, so don’t get too excited.”

She looked taken aback. Her mouth hanging open in shock.

“Hold up! You have been seeing each other for over a month now, and he still hasn’t kissed you?! My word you are a patient woman. Truly a saint. I don’t know how either of you have the self restraint to be honest. I jumped on Stephen so fast it’s not even funny.”

I visibly cringed. Once again not a picture I need in my mind. She let out a laugh.

“Sorry! Sometimes I forget you are related to Stephen. That probably is the last thing you wanted to hear.”

“No worries.” I lied. “Should I go with this dress, or this skirt?”

Her face scrunched looking at my options. 

“Neither one is really wowing me… don’t you want something with a little more… flare?” 

“Eh… not really. I don’t really ever wear anything too flashy, I am not trying to get noticed.” I said with a shrug.

“Isn’t the whole point of going out when single to get noticed?” 

“I’m really only interested in getting noticed by one person.” 

My cheeks flushed from my admission. A smirk spreading across MC’s face. 

“Maybe Bobby needs to see he has some competition, maybe that will be the push he needs to finally make a move.”

I couldn’t help the scowl that made its way onto my face. 

“I don’t want to force his hand, I am fine with taking things at his pace. Bobby clearly has some insecurities from his past, and I don’t want to exploit that. If he makes a move I want it to be because that is what he really wants, not because he is scared he will lose me if he doesn’t.”

I didn’t mean to make it sound so harsh, but I knew it did when hurt flashed across MC’s beautiful features.

“Sorry I guess I didn’t think about it that way. I…” She paused as she awkwardly fidgeted with her fingers for a moment, not meeting my eyes. “I guess I just thought it would be nice to see Bobby fight for something he wants for once. He has just been watching his life play out from the sidelines, I just want to see him get back in the game.”

I walked over to MC and wrapped her in a hug, making sure she looked into my eyes, so she could see I wasn’t upset.

“I think Bobby needs someone to show him that he is worth fighting for, before he will be ready to fight for himself. He has no idea how amazing he is, but he will.” I said as I offered her my most reassuring smile. 

She returned my smile. “I guess I would go with the dress. We both know Bobby won’t be able to take his eyes off you no matter what you wear. Even if he won’t admit it.”

***

POV Bobby

I am absolutely dreading this evening. Watching MC and Stephen be all over each other isn’t going to be fun, especially because that is probably going to put ideas into Ellie’s mind… and more worrisome mine. Keeping Ellie from getting too close has been a real struggle. Not only because she has given me no reason to do so, but also because the more time I spend with her the more I realize she is truly special. It is only a matter of time before she realizes I am not worth the effort and moves on. They always do. 

I made my way over to my closet, pulling out the cologne I had worn the night of our first date. The bright citrus smell overwhelming my senses, as I struggled to pick out what to wear. I know Ellie is going to look amazing, she always does. She is so gorgeous it’s honestly hard to concentrate sometimes, but her outer beauty is honestly the least beautiful thing about her. She never ceases to confuse me with why she is wasting her time with me, and I don’t know how long I can continue to lie to myself about my feelings for her. That thought scares me more than anything, because if I was smart I would have cut things off with her weeks ago. I can feel what limited power and control I have failing, and I know soon she will have enough power to destroy me. I guess all I can hope for now is that she won’t.

***

I looked down at the clock in my car. 8:15. I rolled my eyes preparing for the lecture I was about to get from MC. I had arrived on time, but I was frozen in my car. I took one final deep breath as I exited my car, and made my way into the bar. I looked around as I entered the doors, I noticed Stephen gesturing from a booth across the bar. Is it too late to run? Probably. I tried to look confident as I made my way over.

“Nice of you to finally join us Bobby.” MC let out a puff of annoyance. “I’m not sure how you could possibly take longer to get ready than Ellie and I combined.”

“Oh be nice MC, you forced this night on him! Be grateful he showed up at all.” Stephen said coming to my defense.

“Where is Ellie?” I said when I suddenly felt hands snake their way around my waist, gripping me in a tight hug. 

“I’m right here handsome.” She leaned forward to whisper in my ear. “I didn’t want to be a third wheel so I was hiding out at the bar.”

The closeness and her breath hitting my ear caused me to shiver. I spun around to face her. She was wearing a simple black dress with a golden belt accentuating her waist, and a pair of strappy black sandals with a bit of a heel. The dress hit her just above mid thigh showing off her long shapely legs. Her hair was half way pulled up and perfectly curled, and her blue eyes stood out with a smoky cat eye. Her full lips were covered in a crimson lipstick. I stood there in awe taking her all in. She always kept things simple, but she exuded beauty and elegance.

“Wow… You look gorgeous Ellie.” I said as I adjusted the collar on my shirt. 

She gave me a small twirl, then stopped looking me up and down.

“Looking pretty good yourself. Trying to impress me?” She gave me a smirk looking at me through those long dark lashes of hers. I instantly felt heat rising up my cheeks. She let out a little giggle before we were interrupted by MC clearing her throat. 

“That was adorable, but I didn’t come out to watch you two make goo goo eyes at each other all night. Mama needs a drink!”

“Right... Stephen should we go get the ladies something to drink?”

“Right behind you mate. We will be right back.” Stephen said as he placed a kiss on MC’s cheek.

***

We had been at the pub a few hours, and everything had gone surprisingly smooth so far. The conversation had been flowing, and MC clearly hadn’t drank in a while. She used to have a pretty high tolerance, but tonight she was sloppy. Her sentences were beginning to slur together, and she was talking much louder than necessary. It was pretty entertaining to watch, at least it was until she dragged Stephen out to the dance floor, and began dancing on him like he was her stripper pole. Ellie and I exchanged uncomfortable glances. 

“Wow… that’s… uncomfortable to watch.” Ellie said as a small laugh escaped from her lips. “Stephen is going to be receiving a bill from my therapist.”

We both burst into laughter. I looked over to the dance floor once more.

“Yeah… That is certainly something.” I said as I took another large swallow from my drink. I was surprised how little I was affected by what was going on before my eyes. I couldn’t help but think about how devastating this sight would have been a year ago. I mean don’t get me wrong, I certainly wasn’t enjoying the sight before me, but I also didn’t feel like an anvil was crushing my chest either. 

“Want to dance?” She looked up at me raising her eyebrows. 

I let out a chuckle. 

“I am not much of a dancer, but if you want to dance I won’t say no.”

“You and I both know you are lying. I have seen your moves!” She said as she made her way out of the booth and took me to the dance floor. I don’t know what I was expecting, but it certainly wasn’t her dancing around me like a fool. We were both laughing like idiots as we each competed to see who could come up with the most outlandish dance move. 

“When you asked me to dance, this certainly isn’t what I had in mind!”

She threw her head back laughing.

“Oh I’m sorry! Did you expect me to grind on you like that?” 

She said pointing into the direction of MC and Stephen. I turned tomato red so fast it isn’t even funny.

“No! I… Sorry! That wasn’t what I...”

She took a step closer to me so she wouldn’t have to yell over the music. 

“Hate to break it to you, but I’m not really into that bump and grind lifestyle...” She said as she looked up at me seductively. Inching closer so she could whisper in my ear for the second time tonight. Her hand delicately gliding from my shoulder down to my hand in one fluid motion. “At least not in public.”

My entire body stiffened. I visibly gulped as my eyes widened in surprise. Holy shit. My brain and my body were left reeling. I could physically see and hear alarm bells going off. Ellie pulled back trying to hide her satisfied smile by biting her bottom lip. She looked up at me so innocently.

“Are you okay Bobby? You look a little warm.” She didn’t even bother trying to hide her smile this time as she brought her pointer finger up to her mouth delicately biting on the end of her nail. My hand shot to the back of my neck rubbing aggressively trying to ease the tension in my shoulders.

I let out a few coughs. “Yep I’m good. I think I am going to head back to the booth. I need a drink.”

She let out a sly giggle as she trailed behind me. “Yeah I could use one too.” 

***An hour later***

We looked out to the dance floor once more, MC and Stephen were now making out hard. All we could see was a tangle of limbs desperately grabbing at each other. 

“My word, if we don’t stop them soon we are going to find out first hand how Olivia got here.” Ellie said as we both burst into laughter. 

“Do they do this often? Or has this been specially saved to scar me for life?” 

We both laughed again.

“To be honest I don’t really know, this is the first time I have gone out with them since the night they first met.”

Ellie’s big beautiful blue eyes widened in surprise.

“Really? That is surprising. With you being one of their best friends and all I assumed you would be going out with them all of the time. MC has told me so many stories about you guys going out to different clubs and pubs. I guess I just assumed you guys did that often.”

I felt uncomfortable. I didn’t really know how to answer that question. I wanted to confide in her, she had always been so honest with me, but I didn’t know how much to divulge. I was also worried that if Ellie ever found out the truth about my feelings for MC she would run for the hills, and this would all be over. The thought of that made my stomach lurch uncomfortably. 

“Erm… yeah. We used to go out a lot, but going out kind of stopped being my thing for a while. I was kind of going through some stuff, so when I would see them it was always just for like a brunch, or just hanging out at their house. Though that didn’t happen all that often either. They needed time to be a couple you know.” I looked down in my lap. Trying to sound as nonchalant as possible. “To be honest I spent most of my nights alone up until recently.”

She eyed me curiously, her head leaning slightly to the side. Shit. I could see the wheels turning in her head. She had picked up all the little pieces that I had dropped along the way, and the clues from Priya. The puzzle seemingly fitting so easily for her when no one else had even tried to solve it aside from the one other person that knew. I looked away ashamed. Here it comes. I mentally prepared for her to leave, but instead I felt her hand land on my arm.

Just then Stephen made his way back over to our table. “I have to get MC out of here, she is about to get us charged with public indecency.”

“We noticed.” Ellie and I said in unison. Once again bursting into laughter as Stephen rolled his eyes.

“Ellie are you coming with us? Or...”

“I’ll make sure she gets home safe mate… assuming she wants to stay. Or maybe she wants to watch you two paw at each other the whole way home.”

“NO! I would love a ride home, thank you.”

“No worries.”

Stephen looked satisfied. “Sounds good. Thank you for coming with us, and erm… sorry you had to see what you saw.”

“It’s fine Steph… I don’t need my eyes anyway. I will be billing you for my intensive therapy though.” Ellie said.

Stephen rolled his eyes. “Yeah, yeah. I’ll see you guys later.” He said as he made his way back to the dance floor to collect his wife.

“She is going to feel that in the morning.” I said as I watched Stephen try to wrangle his wife out of the pub. She wasn’t going willingly. I was hoping Stephen’s interruption would be enough for us to change the subject, but I looked up to see Ellie eyeing me curiously once more.

“You loved her didn’t you?”

My eyes shot up to meet hers. I expected to see anger, or hurt, maybe confusion, but I never expected to see concern, empathy, understanding.

“What?” I followed her gaze over to Stephen and MC. “No… I…”

She placed her hand on my cheek, rubbing her thumb over my cheek bone to comfort me.

“I’m so sorry... I didn’t mean to put you on the spot… It just, it all makes sense now.” She looked into my eyes, and smiled. “It’s okay Bobby. You don’t have to tell me anything you aren’t ready to.”

Her eyes were so warm, and comforting. It was that moment that the dam of a wall I had spent the last few years to build up came crumbling down. I began to word vomit everything. How we had formed a connection on the show, her moving to Glasgow, how I had been too afraid to tell her how I felt and how I lost my chance. I even told her about my breakdown at the wedding, and the spiral afterwards. She just sat and listened to it all, every once in a while offering me a comforting pat on my hand. When I finally finished we sat in silence for a few moments. I felt sick to my stomach as I waited for her reply, and even though I was terrified I couldn’t help but be flushed with relief as well. At least it was all out there now.

“I’m so sorry you had to go through that Bobby.” She said as she looked deeply into my eyes, bringing her hand to rest on top of mine. Tears began to well up in her eyes. “That must have been incredibly lonely.”

“I understand if this changes things for you. You must hate me now.” I pulled my hand from under hers and placed it in my lap. Afraid to make eye contact. 

Her hand reached over and cupped my chin forcing me to look up at her. Her brows were knit together in confusion.

“How could I hate you for that Bobby? You can’t help who you love.” She reached up and delicately wiped a tear that had unknowingly made its way down my cheek. “You did everything to ensure her happiness, often at the expense of yours. You stayed her best friend, and you were still there for both of them at every turn. That must have been so painful… I know how painful it is to love someone who doesn’t love you back.” 

Tears were now streaming down both of our faces. Now it was her turn to avoid my gaze.

“What do you mean?” I asked meekly. 

“I was in love with Justin… Stephens best friend. Growing up I spent almost every summer here in Glasgow, Justin was practically part of the family. When him and Stephen moved to London for Uni I got really close with him. I had really bad luck with guys, but he made me feel special. Slowly I began to gain feelings for him, but I was too afraid to say anything. So I loved him from afar for 3 years before I finally confessed my feelings for him on my 23rd birthday… he told me he was really sorry, but he only thought of me like a little sister. I was absolutely devastated. I spent the rest of the night sobbing in my bedroom. Then two days later he met his now wife. Our relationship never recovered… he didn’t even invite me to his wedding. So not only was I grieving the fact that he didn’t feel the same way, but I also lost one of my best friends in the process.” 

“I’m so sorry… how?” I paused for a moment. “How did you get over it?”

She blew a puff of air out of her lips delicately wiping her eyes so she wouldn’t smudge her makeup. Offering me a small smile.

“It took a long time… but ultimately I finally realized him not loving me had nothing to do with me being unworthy of love. He just wasn’t the right one for me. I held on to hope that some day I would find that right guy. Someone special, who would love me for me, flaws and all, and who I could love so completely in return.”

She was looking in my eyes, as she inched closer to me.

“Someone who would make me laugh, and who would hold me when I cry.” She inched even closer. She watched me intently, watching for any hesitation on my end but I was powerless to stop her advances, and to be honest I didn’t want to stop her. “Someone who I could confide anything to.” 

She was so close I could feel her breath on my lips. Her eyes never left mine. I could see she was scared. She was waiting for me to bolt like I had so many times before. But I was tired of running. My eyes darted down to her ever so slightly parted lips. My heart was hammering in my chest, but I was ready to finally take a leap of faith.

“Excuse me… sorry for interrupting. I noticed you from across the bar, and I had to come introduce myself.”

My head shot back and I looked up to see an extremely attractive man staring down at Ellie. He exuded confidence, and he had a perfect smile. My veins suddenly felt like ice was running through them. My stomach felt like it dropped to my feet. AGAIN this was happening again. I suddenly felt nauseous, the adrenaline was coursing through my body. My mind was racing, how am I going to survive this again? 

Ellie didn’t miss a beat as she responded. “Thank you, but I am not interested. I’m sorry.” She turned back to face me, expecting him to disappear, but instead he replied.

“Oh come on gorgeous, just one drink, please?” He gave her that dazzling smile and a hint of puppy eyes. A move I am sure he has had success with in the past, hoping she would change her mind.

“Look I said I wasn’t interested alright?” Her tone was much less friendly this time around, and I could see the frustration brimming to the surface. It is evident this isn’t the first time something like this has happened to her.

“I’m sorry I didn’t mean to upset you. It’s just when I see someone as gorgeous as you I have to try right?” 

“Yeah well you tried, but as you can see I am here with someone.” She grabbed onto my arm. I sat there motionless, everything was happening so quickly.

“Come on! You aren’t seriously here with this guy.” He laughed a little, clearly thinking Ellie was just using me as an escape. I mean why wouldn’t he? Anyone with eyes could see she was out of my league. “I assumed you were just here as friends.” There it was. The punch to the gut. I felt all of the air leave my lungs at once.

“Excuse me?” Ellie shot up from her seat so quickly getting right into his face. “I have told you I am not interested in you three times now! So why don’t you sod off asshole!” 

I didn’t know what to think. My body was moving faster than my brain as I slid out of the booth, making my way towards the exit. Everything felt like it was moving in slow motion. I vaguely heard Ellie call after me, but I felt completely out of control. I had to get out of there. I needed air.

I finally made my way outside of the Pub when I felt a hand grab my arm.

“Bobby! Where are you going?

I swung around to see Ellie, her eyes were full of confusion and concern. She was also breathing hard. She had clearly run after me.

I couldn’t even respond, I just began pacing back and forth as I raked my hands through my dreads. I closed my eyes trying to suppress the tears that wanted so desperately to fall. My breathing had grown ragged, and my hands were shaking.

I felt both of Ellie’s hand rest on my shoulders, making me stop in my tracks. I could feel her trying to look me in the eyes, but I couldn’t do it. My heart was still racing, and I felt like I was having a panic attack.

“Look at me Bobby!”

I shook my head.

“Look at me please. We need to get you calmed down okay?”

Her voice was softer this time. She moved her hands from my shoulders to either side of my face, looping her fingers behind my ears and once again softly running her thumbs over the curve of my cheeks. We locked eyes. 

“There we go, there are those beautiful caramel eyes. I love so much” Her eyes were soft as she gave me a reassuring smile, continuing to stroke my face. “Let’s take a deep breath OK? Can you do that for me?”

I nodded my head ever so slightly, feeling my heart rate come down ever so slightly already. She took in a nice deep breath and I tried to follow suit. She stood there with me for a few minutes just looking into my eyes until my breathing evened out. She just kept reassuring me I was doing well.

“There we go, you’re doing great Bobby, just focus on your breathing.” She never broke eye contact once.

When I finally got calmed down I reached up and grabbed onto her arms. She continued to look into my eyes, searching for any sign of another panic attack.

“I’m so sorry.” I said as I tried to remove her hands from my face. I was so embarrassed. I must look so weak, she is probably regretting telling that guy off and following me out here. I hadn’t lost control like that in a long time. I had even been weaned off of my anxiety medication months ago. She refused to move her hands. Refused to let me run again.

“You have nothing to apologize for Bobby.” 

“I am a mess Ellie!” I said as I finally freed myself from her hands. I tried to turn away but she ran around me standing in front of me again.

“You are not a mess! There is nothing wrong with struggling Bobby. No one expects you to be perfect all the time. Please just talk to me.”

I was shaking my head, confused.

“Why did you follow me out here?”

She looked confused.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean that guy in there looks perfect, and he probably has his life together. Thank you for calming me down, you should go back in there and get his number. I’m sure it isn’t too late.”

Now she looked hurt.

“I don’t want that guy! I told him exactly how I felt, and nothing has changed that!”

Why is she still here? I don’t understand. She should be running. I looked off into the distance trying desperately to understand. She once again cupped my face forcing me to look at her. 

“Can we just calm down and talk about this please?” Her voice was whisper soft and her eyes were pleading with me. 

“Ellie… I…” Her hand shot up to my lips as she shushed me.

“I have heard enough about why you aren’t good enough, or how I should hate you, or that you aren’t worth the effort. It is my turn to speak now.”

I nodded my agreement as she looked into my eyes once more, making sure I was listening.

“You make me laugh constantly, and you laugh at my jokes too. You make me feel safe, like I can be myself around you, and you will never judge me. You have the kindest heart, you go out of your way to make sure someone else is having a good day.” 

She laughed a little clearly thinking of a memory. 

“I remember going to visit you at the hospital, and I watched you with those handsy old ladies.” A gentle smile made it’s way onto both of our faces. “You make them smile Bobby, hospitals are miserable, but you somehow make them smile because you are like human sunshine. Warming everyone around you. I know you think you are a mess, but I think you are perfect.

Her eyes desperately searched mine, pleading with me to absorb what she was saying, to finally accept her feelings.

“You are a once in a lifetime kind of guy Bobby Mckenzie… and I like you… a lot. More than I shoul....”

I couldn’t even let her finish her sentence before my hands reached up cupping her cheeks, and my lips crashed onto hers. I couldn’t hold back another second. She was caught off guard, her body freezing ever so slightly, and I pulled back suddenly afraid that was the wrong move. 

She looked into my eyes and she was beaming. She quickly wrapped her hands around the back of my neck pulling me in again. This time there was no hesitation. She pulled my body closer by wrapping her arms around my neck, running her hands through my hair, and eliminating any space that was remaining between us. My arms quickly followed suit wrapping one arm around her waist while my other hand reached up and tangled into the back of her hair as I gently pushed her up against the wall.

Kissing Ellie was like nothing I had ever experienced before. Everything just felt so right, like I was born to hold her and kiss her. Kissing her felt like home. Electricity was coursing through my body. I had never felt more understood in a relationship. She had seen every ugly side of me, but she was still here. Fighting for me. Something I had never experienced before. I had no idea how I had gotten so lucky, but I was praying this luck would never run out.

After a few moments we both pulled back breathing hard, but smiling. 

“I really really like you too Ellie.” I said as I rested my forehead against hers.

She smiled at me before pulling me in for another kiss. Breaking away once more.

“Good.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for giving this a read! I hope you enjoyed it, I would love to hear from you!


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